I Don't Do Nautical Things: Submarine R-14

Stuck 100-plus miles off Hawaii with dead engines and a silent radio, a 1919 submarine shouldn’t have had a chance. Ours did. We walk through the improbable rescue of USS R-14—how a small crew turned hammocks into sails, bunk bed frames into a mast, and a steel cigar into a wind-powered lifeboat. From the first gust that nudged them to one knot, to the clever moment they used spinning propellers to charge their batteries, this is grit and creativity at sea, told with a cold beer in hand.
We set the stage with R-14’s specs and life aboard: cramped width, diesel-electric power, and a conning tower that doubled as a bridge. Then we trace the urgent search for the missing tug USS Conestoga, the fuel contamination that left R-14 bobbing like a cork, and the decision to sail a submarine back to land. Step by step, we break down how the crew rigged multiple sails from blankets and canvas, used a torpedo loading crane as a support, and coaxed the boat toward Hilo Harbor at a patient two knots. It’s a masterclass in seamanship and problem-solving under pressure.
The story widens with Conestoga’s mystery. For 95 years, no one knew where it went. In 2016, NOAA confirmed the wreck near the Farallon Islands, just off San Francisco, pointing to a brutal gale shortly after departure. That revelation reframes the search effort without dimming R-14’s feat. We close with the sub’s later years training sub-hunters in Key West, a friendly-fire scare, and a quiet decommissioning in 1945. Along the way we keep things human, fun, and sharp—naval history, survival tactics, and the kind of ingenuity that never goes out of style.
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00:00 - Banter, Lumbar Support, And Beers
02:25 - Listener Note: Tunguska Pronunciation
03:45 - Beer Show-And-Tell: Hot Dog Lager & Nosferatu
10:21 - Setting The Stage: Why R-14 Matters
12:20 - R-14 Specs, Design, And Crew Life
22:02 - Training Role And Early Service In Hawaii
25:30 - The Conestoga Vanishes
30:20 - R-14 Runs Out Of Fuel At Sea
34:05 - Bedsheets To The Rescue: Rigging Sails
41:00 - Charging Batteries With Spinning Propellers
45:20 - Landfall At Hilo And Aftermath
49:10 - What Really Happened To Conestoga
56:40 - R-14’s Long Career Through WWII
01:03:05 - Friendly Fire Scare Off Key West
01:06:40 - Decommissioning, Legacy, And Toasts
01:12:55 - Wrap-Up And Listener Callouts
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