The Origin of Weird: The Erfurt Latrine Disaster

Welcome To History Buffoons

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Oh hey there.

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Oh hey there.

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This is the history of buffoons.

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The origin of weird.

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How are you, Kate? I'm good, Bradley. Oh, well, we're yelling at each other's names. How are you? I am fan fucking tastic.

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Wonderful.

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Yes. So um I'm gonna try and fumble through an origin of weird for Kate today. Oh well. Teach her something new. I'm pretty sure new. I mean, everything after a day is new to you. That's fair. I mean, with your memory and all.

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It is, yeah.

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Alright, so lay it on me. Lay it on you. Alright.

Introducing The Erfurt Latrine Disaster

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So, have you ever heard of the I'm I'm gonna pronounce things terribly, so I apologize.

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Hey, you've been listening to me for over a year.

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Uh touche.

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Yeah.

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It's called the Erfurt Latrine Disaster of 1184.

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That was a good year.

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Have you heard of that? No. Okay. It says nothing says medieval diplomacy like falling through a floor into a medieval toilet. Yeah. So, and this is all this is a real story according to the medieval chronicles preserved in the again, sorry. Monumenta Germanae Historica.

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Sounded legit.

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It's German.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. So we're going to medieval Germany, obviously, to uh a moment that sounds like it never really happened, but it actually did because it's literally you'll understand. So um in Erfurt in 1184, um the year is 1184, the Holy Roman Empire is doing what it does best. Political chaos held together with ego and questionable architecture. And you'll understand why it's questionable architecture. Okay. A bunch of powerful nobles are gathered for a meeting hosted by King Henry

Medieval Bathrooms And Cesspits Explained

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VI. There's so many King Henries in the world.

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No, it's really irritating.

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They really need to start changing their names. Um, who, like most medieval rulers, of course, was trying to manage a bunch of feuding people because that's what they did. Nobles are like, that's my land. It's like, no, that's my horse. Whatever.

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You take your horse and I'll keep the land. So my horse needs the land. Sorry. Well, right.

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So they gather for this meeting to try and solve disputes and whatever. And they're packed into an upper story meeting room. And part okay, so some say it was in a church, some say it was in a building. Some details are fuzzy, some were embellished over the years.

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Yeah.

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Um, just because again, this is 1184. Right. It's not like they could put it into the historical database and you know, pull it up, whatever.

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Right.

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Um, so of course, some things kind of get a little embellished over the years, as we know, which happens in history. But they're in a meeting room. Um and basically the way medieval buildings were kind of constructed is you know, they would have bathrooms, they didn't have running water and toilets and such. So their shit would just fall, their piss would just fall, and it would all kind of combine into this like they keep saying, cesspit system. Yeah. And so, you know, you'd have toilets on upper floors, and it all drops down, fills up over time, and it's not like they probably cleaned it out all the time.

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Wouldn't that just reek like throughout the building?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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That that's why they had pocket full of posies. Oh. So, anyways, so you have this big building, lots of nobles on a floor, wooden floor. Keep that in mind. Oh dear. And beneath it, uh, all underneath without any knowledge, is you know cesspit. So the meeting gets underway, everyone's arguing. Like, that's like I said, my land. That's my horse. That's that's my crop. Oh, I shouldn't have done that. That's my fault. Sorry, people. You know, they're probably disputing about land and taxes and whatever. And back then, you know, like I have an old house, my floors

The Floor Gives Way Mid-Argument

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creak from time to time. Could you imagine what medieval floors did? They creaked a lot.

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Imagine.

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So no one thought anything of it. And then basically the creaking gets worse. And then everything falls through. Yeah, the whole floor collapses, not like just a little bit, not like slopes down, the whole thing just fucking falls. Yeah. And very fast. Um basically a large number of nobles, and this is, and I'll kind of go over this a little bit. Estimates vary, of course, but we're talking like dozens of nobles in this room fall straight through the floor.

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Right.

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Right into the cesspit.

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Right.

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Yeah. Could you imagine what happens? What's your guess?

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They all get pink eye.

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Cross. Uh unf unfortunately, I bet most of them wish that's all that had happened to them. But you know, you think about it, you know, back in 1184, people probably were wearing armor, heavy clothes, so on. I mean, lots of fucking weight, right? And they drop into human waste, all the collapsing debris from the floors and everything. Each other, they're landing on each other. And actually, there's something I'll say about that in a minute. But yeah, so you're, you know, imagine a group of people mid-argument, suddenly becoming a medieval group plunging into the worst swimming pool in human history. Yeah. It's not fun to think about, actually.

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No, and yes, grimacing over here.

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And yes, um, some people drowned.

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Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I knew that was gonna be.

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Definitely not from water.

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Yeah, um, I I knew exactly what you were going for.

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So some of the nobles did survive, but not because of skill, like I'm gonna jump over here or swim, or yeah, or heroism. They survived because they landed on top of the pile of other nobles. Oh, or or they were wedged in different stuck structural debris that just helped keep them up, kind of thing. Um, or some were actually pulled by attendants watching pretty much probably in absolute horror that what was happening. Yeah, I uh gross, anyways. Um, so people outside were hearing screaming, crashing, like, what the fuck's going on in there? This meeting's getting heated. Not so much. So uh um obviously the aftermath of what happened, you can

Who Survived And Why It Mattered

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probably guess. Some nobles die, some are rescued. Obviously, the meeting's over. Right. I mean, if anything so meetings adjourned. Um, and some of the survivors have probably got forced endings, good way to put it, probably traumatized.

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Yeah, I mean, uh most certainly had a guy.

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But but uh politically, this actually matters because several important figures are removed from the equation instantly.

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Rao.

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So you think about that. All these nobles.

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Oh, I can keep the horses.

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Yeah, it's like, oh hey, uh George over here died. I want his land. Yeah, you know, it's like, oh so um, yeah, it actually was significant because of that, because of how many nobles were gathered and how many died. They like there's estimates that dozens up to 60 people died during this disaster. That's a giant cesspool. Cesspit cesspool. So um, but before we continue on, so this is there's certain things that people kind of argue about about this whole incident. One of the main things is how many people actually died. Yeah. Because again, some say uh around 60 people died, while others suggest dozens without giving a precise number.

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Okay.

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There this was chronicled in medieval, whatever timing this was done. So they weren't actually known for their meticulous record keeping, but they know people died, yeah. So that's one thing. Nobody knows the exact number. It's anywhere from a couple dozen to 60, which is a lot. And and yeah. Did everyone die by drowning? No, because of course the floor collapsed, some died from hitting the floors, some died by being crushed by timbers and whatever of the structure. Um, of course, injuries from the fall.

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Yeah, sepsis or something.

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Yeah, but of course, some did drown. And some people, because it's called the Erfurt Latrine disaster, is like, was it actually a latrine? Technically, no, it's was the where all the latrine's waste flows into pretty much. So it's more like that, but I don't know. The Erfurt Cesspit disaster doesn't sound as good as the latrine disaster. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. To me, it doesn't, but uh, some people want to like discuss why did the floor collapse. And some historians think the explanation is straightforward. Too many heavily armored nobles standing on a wooden floor that wasn't designed to support that much kind of concentrated weight. Yeah, but you can also understand there's no like engineering records from 1184 how this was actually built. Um, it's not like that OSHA, like yeah, that beam needs to be five inches over to support these nobles. Right. Um, of course, depending

Death Toll Debates And Likely Causes

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on how old it was too aging timbers, probably didn't maintain it like they should have, kind of stuff like that. Water damage could have been a big thing, too. Um, anyways, another one was King Henry the Sixth actually there. Um he was because it was called under the authority of Henry the Sixth, uh, who was uh then King of the Romans. Um, but most accounts do agree he was present. Basically, the way he survived is he was sitting on the section of the building that did not collapse. Okay, that's why King Henry the Six uh survived.

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Okay.

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So good for him.

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Yeah.

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But um, and then of course, one which we kind of went over already, which is the were the casualties politically significant. Absolutely. Uh several important nobles died, which certainly affected regional politics. However, modern articles sometimes exaggerate the event as dramatically changing the course of the Holy Roman Empire. Most people don't believe that's true. Anyways, so yeah, so basically historians still debate the numbers, the mechanics of how it all kind of happened, and exactly how many people died, of course. But um a room full of medieval nobles really did crash through a floor of political meeting and land in a giant cesspit. Gross. Yeah. And somehow, that's not even the weirdest thing that happened in the Middle Ages. Middle Ages were wild, man. They were. I mean, they were. But either way. I don't know. I thought it was kind of weird. It's weird because and nasty. Could you imagine um going to a meeting like King Henry called us into a meeting? So let's go. And like, holy shit, I'm drowning and pooped. I mean, like I said, they probably wish they only got pink eye. Yeah. Which they probably didn't even know it was called Pink Eye back then. Gross. But I mean, I couldn't imagine. You know, it's not like anyone go like, is this load bearingly safe? This floor doesn't seem a little sick.

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Have we had this rated?

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Call in the engineers, but I don't know. Could you imagine like going to a meeting today and or have like a world leaders get together in a room?

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Pretty much when you put it modernized, it sounds f fucking crazy.

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Yeah, it'd be like today's standards would be building

Modern Parallels And Latrine Memories

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a room over a septic tank and having it go straight down into it, and lawsuits would happen.

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Probably.

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Not so much.

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Everybody sues everybody.

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Well, the world is sue happy because everyone wants an easy break and quick out. So, you know, so many people don't want to do the work, which is kind of funny. But um, so yeah, the Erfurt Latrine disaster is one of those moments in history that reminds you we tend to think of medieval politics as dramatic, noble, and grand, but sometimes it was just a bunch of important people that fell into a toilet, and history kept going anyways. Yuck. So yeah, so next time you're in a meeting.

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Hope you're not above a latrine.

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Just make sure you're not above the toilet room or the toilet room. Well, I mean, today's it's not you're not gonna be above a latrine today. No, because you know, latrines are well, bless you. There it is. I remember being in Boy Scouts and we had to clean the latrine. It was fucking gross. Ew. Up at summer camp and shit. Yeah, and that's where I took Xaver camping two months ago already, almost. And um, they actually have actual toilet houses now and stuff and showers. It's like, where the fuck was this 30 years ago? I get it, but what the shit? So, anyways, so yeah, I thought that was kind of weird because how often do you get to talk about nobles dying in a pile of shit? Usually we just talk about nobles being a pile of shit. Don't you think?

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Yep.

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Welp.

Wrap-Up And How To Reach Us

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I suppose.

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All right, buffoons, that's it for today's episode.

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Buckle up because we've got another historical adventure waiting for you next time. Feeling hungry for more buffoonery? Or maybe you have a burning question or a wild historical theory for us to explore?

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