I Want Some Cake: John Newton

Cold Open And Meet The Hosts

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Oh hey there, wavy arms.

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Oh hey there.

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How are you?

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Oh hey there.

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I might leave this in. What the fuck? Jesus Christ. Bradley.

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And I'm Kate.

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This is the history of buffoons.

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Buffoons.

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And I want to emphasize buffoons. Especially after what Kate just did.

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Yeah.

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Wow. All right. Anyways.

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So today we're going to talk about a sailor slash captain slash preacher named John Newton.

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John Newton.

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From the 1700s.

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Ooh, I like that time frame.

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Yeah, yeah. I like it. I like it.

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I like it. I like it.

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I like it. I like it.

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So I I oh Jesus, I should send my ear. I would like to thank you for the for the last you for the last episode. You didn't piss me off.

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I know.

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That was amazing. You did so good because it was a story that I I knew. I mean, I didn't know you were going to do it, but I knew

Cider Tasting And Side Talk

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of it.

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You knew of the the story.

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I I didn't know every single thing, obviously. I knew a lot, but and I've been there, but thank you for nothing off. Not pissing me off. So sorry, say his name again.

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John Newton.

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John Newton. All right. So we found we we occasionally like to have uh ciders on our podcast.

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Not super common, but no, but once in a great while. There's a black cherry one called Mackenzie's. McKenzie's, yes. That one is so delicious. And this one just stood out to me.

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It did. And so what we have is Two Towns Cider House. Made Marion, which is great because you know it's Robin Hood? Robin Hood. It's a blackberry hard cider, six percent, made with Marion Blackberries.

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So made with M-A-D-E. Made Marion.

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Made Marion. That's super cute. But yeah, it's uh Two Towns Cider House. Oh so I'm I'm curious to know it in the freezer. Yeah, so we got it nice and ice cold because unfortunately, um the place we go to when we when we come up here, you and I we will go around and get podcast beers. There's one particular um liquor store. They only have so much room, not everything's cold, so we had to throw these in the freezer and it's it feels nice and ice cold. Oh my god, it's so ice cold. So cheers. Cheers.

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Oh interesting.

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I like this.

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Is it made in Marion? Oh, excuse me. This is produced and bottled in Corvallis, Oregon.

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Oh, okay. Nice.

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Yeah, boldly crafted in Oregon. Yeah.

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Yeah, there it is.

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Family, friends from two nearby towns blend together on a mission to bring cider back to the people. True craft cider made using whole fruit and nor sh no shortcuts.

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Well, I like it. Um the first sip was delicious. I really like it too. So you and I each only have a single one because again, we had to put it in the freezer. The rest are in the fridge. We have shandy's as backup, but yep. Cheers.

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Oh, kid, okay. I was so good. I loved it.

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Yeah.

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They also had a pineapple version.

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That was pineapple. Um, that one seems interesting too. I wouldn't mind trying that down the road. Well, maybe um I like what I'm tasting, so two towns cedar house. Maybe we'll try that on a future rock on future episode.

SPEAKER_04 4:09

So okay.

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Yes. What are we talking about? John Newton.

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John Newton. So he's kind of got a wild pass. Oh shit. Yes. Compared, especially to where he ended up. If you recall, I said he was a sailor and a preacher.

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He sure fucking was.

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Not at the same time.

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Well,

John Newton’s Public Reputation

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I mean, could have been.

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So by late 1700s.

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So we're talking 1798. That's late 1700s.

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Sure. Let's do it.

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Kidding. Late 1700s, yes.

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If you walked into St. Mary Woolnos Church in London, you would have seen a highly respected Anglican.

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Angelican?

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Perhaps. I think I spelled that wrong, but it says Anglican. Um clergyman.

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Yeah.

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He was a prominent author. Oh. And even though his health was failing and his eyesight was pretty much gone, people packed the pews to hear him speak.

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What did he write?

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I will tell you.

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Okay, good.

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To anyone watching, he was the very definition of a dignified religious leader.

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Okay.

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And if you look at his actual historical track record, his early life was an absolute mess. Oh, really? Yeah.

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Oh dear.

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So the story begins in London in 1725. Oh shit. Right as Britain's fortunes was were becoming extricably, extrictably, inextrictably tied to the high seas. Okay. The Empire was expanding rapidly. Merchant ships connecting every corner of the growing global network. Goods and wealth and information and people were constantly moving across oceans. Ports bustled with endless activity.

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I I love the enthusiasm. Keep it fucking going. I am your fucking thing. This is amazing.

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Entire communities were built on this maritime trade just to survive, right?

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Sure, yeah.

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So John was born right into the heart of that.

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Okay.

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His father was a ship captain in a merchant service. So from the very beginning, everyone just assumed the sea would eventually become part of his life.

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Which is understandable if his dad's doing this.

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Yeah.

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Typically, especially in the 1700s.

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Going into the family trade.

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Yeah. No, that's that's what happened. Usually the father, especially if it was his son, yeah, at that time, would train the boy to do his business, if you will. Yeah. Okay.

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So during his earliest years, the most powerful influence in his life didn't come from his father.

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Okay.

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It came from his mother. Oh. So she was a deeply religious woman who devoted an immense amount of time to her son's education. Okay. Teaching him scripture, encouraging him to mesm uh memorize, I said mesmerize, memorize Bible passages, and introducing him to hymns at a young age when most children received like little formal education.

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Do you know what his favorite passage was? I do not. Oh, that's unfortunate.

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She hoped that he might one day become a minister, and by all accounts, she worked diligently to like help guide him down that path. Tragically, she became ill. Oh no. And died when she was when John was only six years old.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Oh, that that's the age my dad's mom died. Really? Well, my dad was that age when his mom died.

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Yeah. So it left when left him with a profound sense of loss that would stay with him the rest of his life.

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I uh so my my son is seven, my daughter is three, you know them very well. I couldn't imagine even a year later, so he was six, my son's seven.

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Yeah.

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If I were to pass suddenly, what that would do to my my Xavier, especially.

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Yeah.

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I'm not saying it wouldn't impact, yeah. Tragic or impact Vesper, but could you imagine what that would do to Xavier? Yeah. I feel like he's a very sensitive. He he's very yeah, sensitive boy. Such a sensitive side, and I love it. Yeah, it's so great. But he is uh, I don't know, lack of a better way to say it, daddy's boy. Like he he he loves his mom, obviously, but he loves being with me. At least that's my perception. I could be off, I don't know. I but I love being with him. I can't imagine what that would do to him.

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Yeah.

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Like it would alter his trajectory through life. Yeah, yeah. And I'm assuming that's what kind of happened with him for a little bit. Absolutely. Yeah.

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Um, children in the 18th century, though, were rarely given the space to process that grief that we would would today.

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Yeah. And yeah, that's true.

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So life moved forward quickly because it had to. Families adapted, responsibilities remained, and survival demanded resilience.

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A lot, especially back in the 1700s, 18th century. You how do I put this? You had to move on quicker because you needed to figure shit out. It's not like, well, I'm gonna take a sabbatical, right? Whatever, you know, name your term here. You had to like, well, the family

Childhood Loss And Early Faith

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trade needs me. Mom died. Well, all right. See, mom, I gotta go do this thing. Because it just was a it was out of necessity, more or less than compassion and everything else. You had to fucking move on.

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Yeah.

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At least that's my perception of that time frame. Yeah. I don't know if I'm right, but either way.

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So John's father eventually remarried, and the routines of childhood gave way to like a little bit more harsher reality. Sure. Um, by the time he was 11 years old, John was starting to sail alongside his father.

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Okay.

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While modern um audiences tend to like romanticize life aboard like old sailing ships, yeah, like majestic vessels.

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It was you know, through blue water. Oh, look it out there with a white sail.

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Yeah.

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Flying and blah, blah, blah. You had a great figure head at the front of your sh your vessel.

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Right, right. Yeah. It was not glamorous at all.

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Not even close.

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Ships were crowded, they were uncomfortable, incredibly dangerous. Yes. Food spoiled regularly, fresh water often became contaminated, and disease spread like wildfire.

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It's not like you could be like, you know, this water's looking a little gamey. I'm gonna go get me some other stuff. No, that's salt water. Yeah, you can't do that either. Fucking do that because that's bad for you.

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So sailors worked exhausting hours under brutal conditions, and sudden a sudden storm could transform an ordinary voyage into a desperate fight for survival.

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Yeah, look at what happened to Prince Eric.

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Poor Prince Eric, but he got saved by a mermaid.

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So I'm so glad you got that.

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We we don't know about the rest of his companions, but whatever.

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Okay, so his dog was saved. His dog was saved. Oh, look at a sheepdog, which is what my brother has. And he just sent me some pictures of Floyd. He's so fucking cute. I'll have to show him to you. Okay, so cute.

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So, for a young boy, this experience was an education unlike anything he's experienced.

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I can totally understand that.

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John learned the ropes quickly, becoming comfortable on deck and developing sharp skills for life at sea.

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So, did he learn? Did he learn the ropes quickly because there's literally ropes he had to work with?

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Yeah, I'm sure that's where it came from. Idiom for a future episode.

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Why did you say that? I don't like that. Anyways.

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Okay, so unfortunately, he also picked up habits that would plague him for years to come.

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Oh, like what?

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He grew into a young man who was increasingly rebellious.

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Okay.

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Authority irritated him.

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Well, I mean, to be sure.

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Discipline seemed entirely impossible for him to accept, and he began drinking heavily, developing a very sharp tongue and a remarkable talent for finding trouble wherever he could.

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So, do people ever develop dull tongues? Is that a thing? Or is it just obviously?

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I think they're just called boring. The strange thing, strange thing was that all the sailors in this area had the same exact flaws. However, uh the heavy drinking, the fighting, the the sharp tongues. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but John still managed to stand out from all of that.

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Okay.

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So accounts from later in his life described him as someone whose language was so excessive that even seasoned sailors. Yeah, even seasoned sailors were finding it shocking.

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They're like, dude, dude, slow your fucking roll.

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So he seemed to possess a unique self-destructive knack for making poor decisions and then doubling down on them whenever he was given a chance to course correct.

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Okay, sure.

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So watching these developments with growing concern, his father eventually intervened, hoping with that a dose of stricter discipline might finally straighten the young man out.

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More or less, yeah. Okay.

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So with that in mind, it did not. John entered service with the Royal Navy.

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Oh. So the British Royal Navy.

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But if the Merchant Service had strict rules, the Royal Navy backed theirs with a threat of severe institutionalized violence.

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Well, it's punishment.

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Yes.

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Is what it is, yeah.

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Britain's Navy was one of the most powerful forces in the world at the time, protecting trade routes and projecting power across the globe and maintaining order among thousands of sailors, and it required a system that modern observers would find barbaric. Predictable predictably, military life to prove to be word vomits. Predictability. No, Kate. Jesus, read the damn word.

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I'd like to just point something out real quick. I'm not editing this out because Kate is like, we don't want to. So I'd like to say, you hear what you hear from this podcast for the people that actually listen to this. Kate is my friend and I hear this all the fucking time. And it's just mind boggling. Or as I like to say to Sarah, mind bottling. She's like, it's that's not what it is. I'm like, think about it. Anyways. Oh my god, get your word straight.

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So predictably, are you sure? Yes.

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Okay.

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Military life proved to be no easier for Mr. John Newton.

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Of course not. It's got more fucking structure to it. And that's clearly in the little bit I've learned about Mr. Newton does not what is not what he wants. No.

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So the rigid expectations of the Navy only magnified the flaws that had begun to define him.

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Sure.

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He had almost instinctively resistance to authority, and every attempt to force him into obedience seemed to produce the exact opposite result. For sure. So he had built a solid reputation as a difficult sailor, someone whose temper, stubbornness, and remarkably poor judgment repeatedly put him at odds with his commanding officers.

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Of course, of course.

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Eventually deciding that he could no longer tolerate the Navy, Newton made the reckless decision to quit. To dessert.

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He just was like, I want I want some cake. Not dessert, but dessert. I know exactly what you meant, but I still stand by what I said. I want some cake. Peace out, fuckers.

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So, like um many of his impulsive choices, it ended disastrously.

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Well, are you surprised?

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He was quickly captured, dragged back to his ship, and subjected to a public flogging before the entire crew.

Royal Navy Discipline And Flogging

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That was a very common, common practice, especially in military settings of that time frame, where it's like, hey, dude, not cool. We're gonna fucking more or less whip you now. And it was not fucking good. Like they would be shirtless, fucking tear up their back. You've seen Outlander.

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Outlander. Not Outlander, but Outlander.

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Outlander.

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So it was an experience designed to be just as humiliating as it was shameful. Correct. The officers wanted every sailor watching to understand the exact consequences of disobedience.

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This will happen to you if you fucking follow this path.

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And they made Newton an example.

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And that's a lot of the times what it was was just making a person an example to get everybody else in line. Yeah.

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And as you said, they stripped him to the waist, whipped him in front of his peers, and he endured a trauma that remained etched in his memory for the rest of his days. And his skin. The punishment, though, didn't quite accomplish what the Navy intended. How so? Instead of breaking him into a disciplined sailor, it left Newton deeply bitter and trouble. Well and resentful. I jumped a few times.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

You did. Okay. Can you blame him though? No. So, like, I understand what they were going for, which was we need to show this kid, hey, this is what's up. You need to fucking do this. And we're gonna prove it to you by doing this. Yeah, flogging. Flogging. And we're also gonna do it in front of all these other fucking people just so they know don't exactly what you do. Don't don't do you listen. However, me being the person that I am, I don't think I feel like I would follow John's footsteps in this.

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You'd become bitter and resentful.

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I would be like, Yeah, fuck you.

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Absolutely, yeah.

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I would not just be like, okay, Masta. Yeah, yeah. I'd never do it again. No, fuck you. I would fucking be like, nope, I'm out. Peace, bitches. Priesthood. Am I right?

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So a month later, while the ship was docked in Madeira, which is an island off the coast.

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Madeira.

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Oh, really? Yeah. It's an island off the coast of Northwest Africa. Okay. The captain decided John was more trouble than he was worth.

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So did they just leave him there?

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The captain agreed to a crew exchange. Oh. Trading the rebellious Newton to the captain of a passing merchant vessel called the Pegasus bound for West Africa.

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Okay.

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This transfer effectively ended Newton's disastrous stint in the military.

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So the this is the right word.

SPEAKER_04 20:38

I don't want to say exonerate him, but um, I don't think there was like a whole um dishonoredly discharged kind of situation.

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More or less he was discharged by this action. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Okay.

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Um, so this set the stage for his arrival on the Plantain Islands. So now he's in the lucrative trading networks of connecting Europe with Africa and the Americas. Right. So it was here that Newton first became involved in the transatlantic slave trade. Oh shit. Governments profited from it. Yeah. Merchants grew fabulously wealthy because of it, and entire ports depended on its survival. Yeah. To most Europeans of this period, human trafficking wasn't viewed as a burning moral question.

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Of course not.

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While that cultural blind spot certainly didn't excuse the horrors of what happened, it does explain how so many ordinary people willingly, willingly became cogs in a system whose cruelty seems so blindingly oblivious to us today.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Well, you gotta remember the time frame. It was a lot different. And it's funny because everyone likes to. Believe that the white man created all this slavery. Slavery has been around since there's been fucking people. So it sucks. It's not a good thing. It's a dark stain on the fucking American history. But it's a dark stain on fucking humanity.

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So what would happen is ships from Europe will go down to Africa, collect, collect people that were sold by their own fucking people.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Let's make sure that's actually good because I cannot fucking stand. You see all these fucking videos today with the whole stupid reparations, bullshit, and whatever. Your people sold your own people

West Africa And The Slave Trade

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to the white man to bring them to the states. Yeah. And that is very fucking important.

SPEAKER_04 22:55

I'm going to get to that.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Yeah, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 22:57

But from Europe, they would go to Africa, they would collect the slaves, go to America, drop the slaves off, correct, and then take all the additional goods that they were supposed to actually trade and take those back to Europe.

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Yeah, correct.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

No, for sure, for sure.

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He eventually entered the service of a white slave trader named Amos Clow.

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You have a cat named Amos.

SPEAKER_04 23:21

I have a cat named Amos, and he is white.

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He's got two black spots.

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So he operated a trading post on the Plantain Islands off the coast of modern-day Sierra Leone. Sierra Leone. So Newton's plan was to learn the black market slave trade from Clow and make his fortune. But Newton's self-destructive streak began again.

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I was to say, it didn't subside.

SPEAKER_04 23:47

He was arrogant, lazy. He famous. Oh yeah, he was lazy.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

So sorry. Wow. I am saving that one.

SPEAKER_04 23:56

He wrote insubordinate poems and songs mocking Clow. So Clow.

SPEAKER_01 24:04

Kind of digging this, John. You'll like him. I promise. You will. I already am.

SPEAKER_04 24:10

So Clow grew to despise him, of course.

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Of course. I mean, can you blame him? So he's literally fucking going against him.

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He's singing songs about him.

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It's awesome.

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So the real turning point came when Clow's common law wife, an influential and wealthy African woman named Princess Paye. Common law, they had that back then? She took a severe like dislike to Newton. I'm gonna explain this. I'm gonna explain this.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

I hope so.

SPEAKER_04 24:46

While it sounds incredibly contradictory to say that this white slave trader is common law married to an African woman. Princess, this happened very, very commonly. Sure. Amos Clow wasn't actually married to Princess Pei in a traditional European romantic sense. Correct. Their relationship was a marriage of convenience.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

So in the marriages are convenient.

SPEAKER_04 25:18

In the 18th century, European slave traders couldn't just mark inland and connect people. Local African kingdoms were far too powerful and militarily advanced for that.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 25:31

So to buy enslaved people, Europeans had to trade through established coastal networks. So to gain access to these networks, well white traders would form alliances with wealthy independent African or Euro-African women called signaries further north, or simply princess merchants in Sierra Leone.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Yeah, weird.

SPEAKER_04 25:59

Princess Pei Paye was a powerful she was a powerful woman of royal descent in the Sherbur Sherbro people.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

That's like I said Sherbro there.

SPEAKER_04 26:09

Sherbro people. And by entering into a common law marriage with her, Amos Clough gained protection, safety for his trading posts from local rulers, direct access to inland slave markets, credit and respect amongst the local tribes. And in return, Pei gained direct access to highly desirable European trade goods, like textiles, rum, and firearms, which skyrocketed her own wealth and political influence.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Yeah, and that's the thing. It wasn't the white man only. I'm not saying we didn't have a part in it. Yeah. And they were not American. It was mainly a lot of British people bringing them over. But they were in partnership with these fucking Africans that sent their own fucking people that they would either conquer or just round up, more or less, and send them over here. Because you know why? Money.

SPEAKER_04 27:15

Weird. Money and status.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

But yet, you know. All right, I won't get into that right now. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 27:23

Okay. So when Clow left the island on a trading expedition, he placed Newton under Pei's supervision.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

Seizing the opportunity to punish the arrogant young sailor, she treated him with utter cruelty. Really? Newton was struck with severe illness, likely malaria, and while he was burning with fever, Pei had him chained to the floor of her veranda. She refused to feed him, leaving him to survive on little literal scraps from her table. What the fuck? Newton later wrote that he was so starved he would sneak out into the field at night to dig up raw roots to eat. I'm assuming he's unchained at this point. And Pei made Newton a target of public humiliation. Why? When guests arrived, she would force the frail, emanciated Newton to crawl around and perform tasks, encouraging her guests to throw lime peels and garbage at him. For about a year, Newton was entirely dependent on this secret charity of local African slaves who pitied him. They risked their own safety to smuggle him small amounts of food in the cover of night.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

Go. Slaves?

SPEAKER_04 28:46

African slaves who helped Newton.

SPEAKER_01 28:48

I mean. She's a see you next Tuesday.

SPEAKER_04 28:58

So Newton was a white Englishman who had actively sought to profit off the captivity of black human beings. However, yet through his own toxic behavior and bad luck, he ended up a captive himself.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Starving by the black people.

SPEAKER_04 29:14

Starving, chained, and entirely powerless under the thumb of an act, an African royal and a British traitor.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

So wait a minute. Okay. So does his family get reparations?

SPEAKER_04 29:26

What's a reparation?

SPEAKER_01 29:27

Never mind.

SPEAKER_04 29:28

Retaliation?

SPEAKER_01 29:29

Nope. Reparations it's reparation. So a big thing out in California, especially, because California is fought with their government because of a certain denomination that they run by. And they were going to give African American people, which I don't understand. I still don't understand that term. I know on my route that I sell to, I know a lot of nice black people. I don't ever call him, hey, African-American Tony. I call him Tony because he's a fucking cool dude. And we talk like I talked to him about fucking Marvel shit today. It was great. But um reparations are more or less we're gonna give you money because of the color of your skin, because someone a long time ago was a slave that you're not related to. You had no idea who they were. No one alive owned them, but we're gonna give you money. That doesn't make any fucking sense. But of course, there's certain people who push for it because they think it's just and and right and whatever. It's like slavery was ended a long fucking time ago in our country. No one alive today deserves reparations, money, compensation for something that you had nothing to fucking do with. So I fucking love this, and I wish I knew her name. But basically, what reparations do the do all the people, the white people who fought to end slavery who died? What do they get? It's the same fucking thing. Stop with this fucking nonsense. Let's fucking move on. It was a terrible, terrible thing in our in our history. But again, slave. Do you know where the term slave comes from? From the Slavics? Slave? Slavics? Do you know mostly Slavics were? White. So, anyways, let's move on.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

Thank you for explaining reparation? Is that the word?

SPEAKER_01 32:02

Reparations.

SPEAKER_04 32:03

Okay, so when Newton was finally rescued in 1747 by

Rescue And Returning To Sea

SPEAKER_04 32:10

a ship captain who was actually a friend of his father's.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Oh yeah? Newton. He was saved by a friend of his father. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 32:18

But Newton didn't exactly have a moral awakening. Of course. He went right back into the slave trade and eventually became a captain himself. Of course. But historians note that this period of vulnerability was the first time Newton truly understood what it was like to have your humanity stripped away. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

Well, I mean, look what Princess Poi Poi.

SPEAKER_04 32:41

Payee?

SPEAKER_01 32:42

I wasn't saying Poye. Payé did to him. I mean, he got an experience of what he more or less. He experienced what he was putting other people into. Which is great. Yeah. And again, good. I mean, I'm kind of digging digging him at the same time. Good. He learned because that's what he was putting people into. Yeah. Whether it was knowingly or not, it doesn't matter. He was putting people into that situation. He got a fucking taste of his own medicine, more or less. Yeah. And that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_04 33:19

Yeah. So slave ships represented one of the darkest, more horrific um enterprises in American history. Yep. Where men and women and children were stripped of their humanity, treated as cargo, and reduced to limes on like a ledger. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

They were property. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:37

Disease ran rampant below deck.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

And a lot of them died.

SPEAKER_04 33:41

Mortality rates were devastating.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

They were huge.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

Human suffering wasn't an accidental byproduct of like the journey. Nope. Newton participated in this cruelty for years, and like so many others in the trade, he learned how to completely compartmentalize what he witnessed.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

Which is wild. Because like, could you imagine trying to car compartmentalize well their property? They died. Whatever the scenario might be.

SPEAKER_04 34:14

Yeah, it's it's it's odd to think about 2020, you know, hindsight.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

It is, and and and that that's why they call it hindsight's always 2020. Because you can see clearly, which I can't since you have context. Um, but it's like what? But it's like it's wild because um in his scenario, his life, whatever you want to call it, he was doing what he was told, he was doing what he thought right, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, all that shit. And it's like, no man, they're fucking people. Don't don't do that, but it was right at that time. Later, we found out not so right, not so much. I mean, and that's a very generalization of it, obviously, it's fucking terrible. Again, I might talk stupidly about reparations and shit. It's a fucking travesty what we did with that, but we also fucking ended it, is my point.

SPEAKER_04 35:20

Yep. Anyways, so economic incentives encouraged him to look away, sure, cultural attitudes enforced his silence, and um then came the event that would actually permanently split his life into two. Oh dear, what happened in March of 1748, while serving aboard a vessel called the Greyhound, Newton found himself caught in a violent, catastrophic storm in the middle of the North Atlantic.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 35:49

18th century sailors faced the ocean with absolutely none of the safety nets that we would have available today.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

Why would they?

SPEAKER_04 35:58

I mean, no weather satellites, no um radios, no Coast Guard.

SPEAKER_01 36:05

I mean, this is literally mid-1700s. Yes. They have none of this shit.

SPEAKER_04 36:11

So when a ship entered a storm like that, survival came down to a structural strength of the wood, the skill of the crew, and pure luck. Which you don't have right now. How did that happen? Look at that stain. You need to stand up and show the camera. No, fuck off. How did that appear saying this law?

SPEAKER_03 36:39

How did that happen? I don't Did you miss your mouth? No.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 36:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

Shut up.

SPEAKER_04 36:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

Shut up.

SPEAKER_04 36:53

So in the midst of this chaos, yeah. A sailor standing right next to Newton was suddenly swept overboard. Oh shit. Vanishing into the

The Greyhound Storm And Prayer

SPEAKER_04 37:10

ocean in the middle of the storm. Was this it was an instant.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

Was this a sailor he knew well, or was just happened to be a sailor?

SPEAKER_04 37:17

We don't even know who the sailor is. So he just like anonymous, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 37:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 37:23

Wow. So um there was no opening for even a rescue. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

Like, especially in the mid-1700s. There's no fucking way. Like I said, no Coast Guard.

SPEAKER_04 37:34

Yeah. So that sudden loss forced a terrifying realization. If the sea could claim one of them that easily, it could take the rest of them just as easily.

SPEAKER_01 37:44

100%. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 37:46

So for hours, Newton threw his weight into the manual labor alongside the the rest of the crew, genuinely believing that death was only seconds away. Right. So somewhere in the midst of that exhausting terror, old memories began to surface. He found himself thinking back to the religious lessons his mother had taught him tech decades earlier. Sure. As long-forgotten passages of scripture and fragments of childhood prayer drifted back into his mind. Faced with the very near real probability of drowning in the dark, John Newton prayed.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

And I'm assuming this is the first time he's done it. In years. In a long time. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 38:36

Against all odds, the storm eventually weakened, and the battered greyhound managed to limp back to safety.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

So did he associate that with his prayers?

SPEAKER_04 38:47

Yes. Okay. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Sure. Although that's that happens a lot with religious people. And again, I'm I'm not Twee Starone. I am not a religious person myself, personally. I would like to think there's a greater good out there, if you will. Yeah. But um it's funny, like a lot of times things happen. You happen to pray prior to these things happening, right? And you associated. God was looking out for me that day. And I'm I'm not saying there's not a God to each your own on religion. Good for you.

SPEAKER_04 39:24

But it's it's funny how those correlate where it's like you prayed and you create connections where there might not have been one.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

Or or there more likely wasn't one. Yeah. And that's okay. Again, you're one of my favorite lines from a movie is from Angels and Demons. Faith is a gift I have not received yet.

SPEAKER_03 39:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

And that line from Tom Hanks talking to Ewan McGregor sticks with me because it's like, do I believe there's maybe something out there? Sure. I'm not an atheist, I'm more agnostic, if anything. Yeah. Um, and I don't know. I just I have not been a part of a situation where it's like, hallelujah, the Lord saved me from this, or whatever, whatever, whatever you want to say. It's just it's crazy because especially, and I'm I'm speaking about that in 2026. We're talking about 1750, 48, whatever, whatever year you said. Lot fucking different.

SPEAKER_04 40:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

I have a lot more knowledge of things only because of the time I'm alive than they do.

SPEAKER_04 40:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

So, anyways.

SPEAKER_04 40:43

So Newton emerged from this relatively shaken. Sure. I mean, yeah, but but he did not abandon his old life. Well, of course not. He became more interested in religion, and he did begin examining his beliefs with some new seriousness.

SPEAKER_03 41:01

Sure.

SPEAKER_04 41:01

But he actually continued to um captain slave uh ships for years after the storm. Well, that's what he knew, so you can't blame him. As time went on, however, contradictions between his growing faith and his profession began to become impossible to ignore. Okay. Health problems eventually forced him to end his seafaring career for good, allowing him to devote his full attention to religious study.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

What health problems did he have? Oh, come on, Jim. He was getting old. That's not what it was. He was getting old. All right, I guess I'm off to sea then. Why? Because I'm getting old.

SPEAKER_04 41:48

The rough, profanity-laden soul, soldier sailor.

SPEAKER_03 41:54

Soldier sailor.

SPEAKER_04 41:56

Who had spent his childhood fighting authority was going to be transformed into a minister.

SPEAKER_01 42:07

Isn't it wild? So how old was he at this time? Do you have do you have that? I don't. Okay, because I mean he's been around for a bit. Let's see, he was born in 25. We're talking 1748.

SPEAKER_04 42:19

48 was the storm, I think.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

Yeah, so we're looking for it.

SPEAKER_04 42:22

So like another decade.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

Yeah, so we're looking at 23 just for the storm. Probably let's let's just call it a decade for sake of argument. So I mean he's at 38. Life expectancy is probably 42 at that time. Whatever. I'm just kidding, obviously. I mean let's call him 40. Let's just round it up. Roughly 40. And he's like, fuck. What if there is more?

SPEAKER_02 42:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

It's just it's it's wild that I mean he just shit. Right? I mean, just literally shit. What am I doing with my life? And all those years ago, I miss you, mom.

unknown 43:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:10

Teachings.

SPEAKER_02 43:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

Church. I like scripture. Let's go that route. Yeah. It's just it's a wild turn of events because of what he did and how long he did it, and military and slave trading and so on, whatever. It's just like, and then God.

SPEAKER_04 43:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

It's just it's it's a wild turn of events.

SPEAKER_04 43:29

It's like those people in prison who have like committed murder and they're like, I have turned to God now. It's like, okay, but why couldn't you do it up beforehand?

SPEAKER_01 43:39

So okay. Just because you brought that up. To me, it's like, did you though?

SPEAKER_04 43:45

Yeah. Did you?

SPEAKER_01 43:46

Did you?

SPEAKER_04 43:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

Because I don't always believe you. Because you know why? Because you have fucking murder people, and that's why you're in prison.

SPEAKER_04 43:54

Okay, so what made John Newton so incredibly effective in the pulpit was his awesome. Honesty.

SPEAKER_01 44:01

Straightforward guy.

SPEAKER_04 44:02

Yeah, he spoke openly about personal failure, guilt, deep weakness, and the terrifying ability of human beings to justify things they know somewhere deep down are completely wrong. Right. So when Newton spoke, people listened simply because he sounded real. As the years rolled by, Newton became increasingly outspoken against the very slave trade that made him his living. He publicly

Remorse, Abolition Influence, And Ministry

SPEAKER_04 44:30

acknowledged his own direct participation in the trafficking of human beings, expressing a profound, agonizing remorse for the role that he played. Rather than pretending to be innocent or claiming he was just a product of his time, he accepted full unconditional responsibility for his actions. Among those deeply that's pretty impressive. It is, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

Again, of the time frame we're talking about, for someone to be that like we'll just call it open. Yeah, I guess. I don't know if an honest, and yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's the right terminology we want to use, but it's I guess it's there. Is it it's basically like yeah, I fucked up.

SPEAKER_04 45:17

Yeah. This is I'm deeply sorry that I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 45:20

I apologize for my past discretions, which is great. I mean, honestly, it's fucking amazing that he had the foresight to see like this probably wasn't good. Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_04 45:34

I mean, so among those deeply influenced by his counsel was a young politician named Willian William Wilberforce. Wil Wilberforce? Mm-hmm, who would go on to become the leading voice in Britain's historic movement to abolish slavery?

SPEAKER_01 45:53

Which didn't they do that prior to us? I think so. Uh because we're still talking 1700s. We didn't abolish slavery until 18. 1860 years. I I feel like we should know that being buffoons, but we're buffoons, hey. Um right? Either way, we'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_04 46:16

So during the early 1770s, while serving as a country minister in a small village, Newton began writing um simple hymns for his working class congregation to sing.

SPEAKER_03 46:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 46:30

One particular week, he sat down to pen a song that drew heavily from the turbulent experiences that had shaped him. As he wrote, he looked back across decades of heavy memories, the mother that he lost, the years wasted on rebellion, the anonymous soldier that was swept into the Atlantic, the storms he somehow survived, and the guilt that he carried. And he poured all of that into these verses. He wrote about the profound moral blindness that had followed him. Nope, allowed him to traffic in human beings and the long, painful process of finally confronting the truths that has spent he had spent a lifetime avoiding.

SPEAKER_03 47:19

Right.

SPEAKER_04 47:19

So he wrote about the literal danger dangers that he had survived, the terrifying ocean squalls that near nearly swallowed him whole. Their grueling years spent breaking his body at sea and the horrific decisions that carried him into the dark places that he should never have gone.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

Right.

SPEAKER_04 47:40

Most of all, he wrote about the the beautiful possibility that mercy might still exist.

SPEAKER_03 47:46

Sure.

SPEAKER_04 47:47

Even for a self-described wretch who had done the terrible things he had done. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

And that okay, so real quick, that is a beauty of like, again, I'm not a church going guy, right? But like back then, we're talking mid to late 1700s, those hymns that he wrote traveled and they meant something to somebody. Yeah, and that is fucking impressive that he was able to write these things off of his experiences and be like, you know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna sit down and write this shit and hopefully inspire some other people. Yeah, whether that was his exact mindset, who fucking knows. But that's what it ultimately did, and that's fucking impressive in the late 1700s. I mean, that that that look at his beginning, tragic, mom died, six, whatever. Look at his middle slave trader, look at his end, and that's the thing is like you have to look at the whole fucking journey, not just a portion of it or a snapshot of it, right?

SPEAKER_04 49:13

Absolutely, so so let me end with this generations of people around the world began singing this hymn, often without having a clue of where it came from about the dark history of the man who wrote it.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:29

The words have become histo hysterics. The words have become historic, the melody has become comforting, and it's it is just just hold on, I'm almost done. Okay, it has transformed into an anthem of hope for the entire world. John Newton, hold on. Yep, John Newton could never undo the choices he had made, nor could he ever erase the immense suffering those choices has caused.

SPEAKER_03 50:04

Right.

SPEAKER_04 50:05

But what he could do was tell the absolute truth about who he has been. Perfect. Which is why the raw confession of this former slave captain remains the most famous hymn ever written. Which is Amazing Grace.

SPEAKER_01 50:25

Yes. Holy fuck. I I was le I was going there. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 50:31

I wanted to drop it.

SPEAKER_01 50:33

Drop it.

SPEAKER_04 50:34

He wrote Amazing Grace. And he is

What Redemption Means In History

SPEAKER_04 50:40

a wretch. The sound that saved a wretch like me. Isn't that so amazing? Honestly, Amazing Grace will get me to cry every time. I I don't understand. There was one time I listened to Carrie Unter would sing it, and I was bawling.

SPEAKER_01 50:59

Is it is it because she was singing it?

SPEAKER_04 51:01

No, it was because it was just so beautiful. Obviously joking. So that song will get me to cry.

SPEAKER_01 51:09

That song is not to be fucking ridiculous. Amazing. It really is.

SPEAKER_04 51:16

It really is.

SPEAKER_01 51:17

And the fact that that's that's the type of person that wrote it, so which kind of brings me to my point I was making earlier. It's like people can change. People have changed. Let the fucking past be the past. Learn from it. Because we will never ever learn from our mistakes if we don't fucking look at the past.

SPEAKER_03 51:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

We've all made mistakes. You've made mistakes, I've made mistakes. The country's made mistakes, the globe has made mistakes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Everyone's made mistakes, whether it be minute or fucking significant. Like slavery. But it's not an American thing. It wasn't a white man thing. Whites were fucking slaves far before black people were. Black people sold their own fucking black people into slavery. No one is fucking uh what's the word I'm looking for? No one, no, everybody's a part of it. No one is just I stood over there. No. Don't blame one race because it's we love racism in this country, which is fucking ridiculous. The only way to end racism is not to fucking bother with racism. Yeah. More or less. You love Morgan Freeman, right?

SPEAKER_02 52:51

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

National treasure as well. Look at some of his videos talking like to another black man. And see, that's the shitty thing. It's like I even just said another black man. That's what it shouldn't be about color.

SPEAKER_04 53:07

It's it's just another man.

SPEAKER_01 53:09

It's not. It's a that's why you're not African American. Were you born here?

SPEAKER_04 53:16

Okay, you're American.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

You're an American. Weird, fucking amazing concept. But like at Morgan Freeman, like it's like he look up his videos. They're him talking about basically racism. They're fucking great. And everybody, white, black, Asian, doesn't matter who the fuck you are, needs to watch these videos because they're so great. And I don't talk down about the severity of what happened, but like reparations are fucking stupid. Because you can't focus on one group this way, because everybody's been through it. What we all need to do is get together together and be like, this is dumb. This is done. Let's end it all. But that there's slaves today. Do those people get reparations, or is it we just fucking trying to make people rich for a minute off of something that happened to not you at all, but maybe a relative, maybe a relative 100 years ago? No, fuck off. What we need to do is just end all of this dumb bullshit. But the problem is the world sucks. It's always gonna be here. There's slaves over in some country. Name your fucking whatever country here, and it sucks. But we haven't had race uh racism. We have racism every day. We haven't had slavery in a hundred and was it 60 years, whatever it's been. You don't get money from that from those people. That's my point. Let's just all fucking end it. It's stupid.

SPEAKER_04 55:02

Let's just all get along.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

That's not gonna happen. You you've met people.

SPEAKER_04 55:09

Did you know that John Newton was gonna come out of Amazing Grace? Amazing grace.

SPEAKER_01 55:15

I had no idea. No idea. What a fucking journey to get there, too. I know, but I mean, honestly, what a journey to get there. Yeah, and that's fucking awesome. And it's a testament of whether you're white, black, Asian, whatever. You can come from a troubled upbringing to some shit. You can make good of it. It's all that matters. Make good of your life. So we all try to do. Yeah. I mean, for fuck's sake. Anyways, I'm ranting too long.

SPEAKER_04 55:52

Tell me how you like um the two town cider house. Did you like that? I really liked it. I did too. It's really good. I think I like Mackenzie's black cherry better, but this one was a really great alternative.

SPEAKER_01 56:04

This was a a very good alternative. Um, no, I I I rather enjoyed it, actually. I think they're two different things, so it's hard to like one's better than the other because I don't know. Again, what is this? This is Blackberry, where that one is was that that wasn't it the other one was black cherry. Um I don't know. I I've really kind of liked this one.

SPEAKER_04 56:30

Good.

SPEAKER_01 56:31

So made Marion, two towns center house. Are you good? Oregon, right?

SPEAKER_02 56:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:36

See how I said it there.

SPEAKER_03 56:39

Oh

Final Cider Verdict And Outro

SPEAKER_03 56:40

my god. Well, how sweet. I suppose I'm ending with so done.

SPEAKER_00 56:57

Alright, buffoons, that's it for today's episode.

SPEAKER_04 56:59

Buckle up because we've got another historical adventure waiting for you next time. Feeling hungry for more buffoonery? Or maybe you have a burning question or a wild historical theory for us to explore?

SPEAKER_01 57:11

Hit us up on social media. We're History Buffoons Podcast on YouTube, X, Instagram, and Facebook. You can also email us at History Buffoons Podcast at gmail.com. We are Bradley and Kate, music by Corey Akers.

SPEAKER_04 57:25

Follow us wherever you get your podcasts and turn those notifications on to stay in the loop.

SPEAKER_01 57:30

Until next time, stay curious and don't forget to rate and review us.

SPEAKER_04 57:34

Remember, the buffoonery never stops.