Twisted Mustache Villain: Lady Jane Grey

0:16 oh, hey there oh, hey there how are you? I'm good. Why are you jiving and shucking and driving there? I don't know we're the the History Buffoons. Yes. And I am Bradley I am Kate. How are you today? I'm doing pretty good. Excellent yes, excellent yes. My kitty's still kicking. That's a plus. When I say kitty, I mean cat. He's 14. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's a good boy. He's still struggling on the eating process, but taking his pills Most of the time, most of the time, and hopefully that's helping and so on. Yeah. He's on like a thyroid medication because he's so hungry, but he's losing weight and he also is losing hair and he's on a antibiotic for the sore that's in his mouth it's under his tongue right it's under his tongue, in the soft palate, so like, yeah, like the bottom part of the soft palate.

1:14 Yeah, I'm not sure if it's a tumor or not, so they're just giving giving him antibiotics in hopes that it's an infection. Well what? did nathan say when he took him that basically, if it was a tumor, or even if it's not, it's too hard. Hard to take a sample biopsy. Right, that's the right word. Yeah, because then it also could get infected again. Yeah, so why risk that? I might have to take my glasses off. I am fogging up already. Okay, holy balls this is me without glasses, and then he's also on a pain med for his sore, yeah, so To try and make it easier for him to eat basically. We have spent quite a bit of money.

1:54 Some people would call it a small fortune. On different types of food For him to eat Just to see what he likes. Right. And we found like one of the cheapest ones that's heavy and gravy. He can look up the gravy. It's better than nothing. It's better than nothing. Yeah, no, I totally get that, because sometimes it's just hard to get them to eat when they're in pain. Basically, for the most part, yeah. So thank you to you and Xavier for the last Origin of Weird story. So thank you to you and Xavier for the last origin of weird story. I'm sorry I couldn't be a part of it, but I think that was pretty excellent. Well. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was a kind of an impromptu thing, since you weren't able to record, because dealing with you know, frankie, which obviously we, we want them to get better, so it's more important.

2:39 But I, I employed my, my, I, uh, I employed my, my son, which, and I think I said at least twice, if not maybe more, uh, I don't know if this- was a good idea. He was a little random at times, but what do you expect? He's six and mayor ruffles mayor ruffles. That was so super cute. Um, okay, so we have another beer from my parents. They brought from I believe it's also Seward Nebraska. Let me double check. Oh, that's right. Oh, it's from Lincoln, Nebraska. So my parents, basically born and raised in or around that area of Lincoln. They both went to college in Lincoln, so that is where it's from.

3:24 It is Zipline brewing company and this is fest beer. It's a german style style lager and it is a 6.0 abv you know, I mean, I'm just shot in the dark here. You know why it's a fest beer um october, october fest. Yeah, yeah, okay I'm gonna crack this one open oddly enough so. Oh, what a quinkity. Cheers. Yeah, couldn't even say it. Cheers. Afterward the fact oh, my phone's going off my bed. That sounds like a you error. That would be a Nathan hey Nathan, hey Nathan. Not that I don't want you to be in contact with the husband. Nope, I'm shutting it all off.

4:05 Appreciate it. That's why it's not like trade secret. I record on my iPhones that I have and I put it in airplane mode. So, notifications don't come through and I usually and I just double check, since that happened and I had it already um mute my computer. So, uh, notifications don't come through. I typically have my phone on silent all day, every day, but with frankie kind of being on the outs. You're in touch with nathan when he's not home or whatever. So yeah makes sense so, um, how do you like the beer? It's pretty good, it's yeah, it's a little bit lighter for, I think, an octoberfest type beer which I don't mind. No, actually I'm kind of glad that it's a little lighter. Yeah, even though it's it's a little bit lighter for, I think, an octoberfest type beer which I don't mind no, actually I'm kind of glad that it's a little lighter yeah, even though it's a 6abv, but like the taste you don't, you don't taste that no, it's delicious.

4:54 Thank you, mom and dad, that's great thank you uh very much for this. This is actually quite, uh, quite delicious yeah, so we're going to get right into it here. You might know this story. Okay, so it is about Lady Jane Gray. Yes. You know of her. Yes. What do you know? Her first name was Lady. Yeah Well, Jane. Oh, no, no. Wasn't uh refresh my memory. Yeah, of course. So, um, she was a queen for a very short amount of time, right before Bloody Mary took reign.

5:36 Yes, that's right. Okay. Okay, I was. I was going to start saying that and I'm like I am second guessing myself. There's a ton of people around that time and we're going to talk about a ton of people today. Yeah, all right. So in England of 1553. Yes, protestant King, king Edward VI, who was only 15 years old. Yes. And Henry VIII's only son is dying of tuberculosis. Correct. Oh, that's what he died of, I guess. Yeah, I'm not sure if I knew that. Yes, tuberculosis. I know he died young, but I guess I didn't know it was tuberculosis. Yes, so I have a question for you. Yes, who is Edward VI's mother?

6:17 Edward VI's mother is oh, hold on a sec. It's obviously one of, yeah, his wives, edward or, excuse me, uh, henry the eighth's wives. It was his favorite because she gave him a son. And who was that? Oh my god, why am I drawing a blank on her damn name? Because we know it's not catherine of aragorn, because that was his first one. We know it's not, uh, wow starts with a j yeah, it's uh. Oh, my fucking god, I'm so pissed at myself that I can't think of it. I'll start with her first name yeah jane yeah uh, jesus christ. Why can't I see more? thank you, god, yes now based on a an origin of weird story that we did of ignaz semble vice.

7:05 Yes, who the hand washing guy? Yep, um, how did jane seymour die? of not washing her hands childbed fever. Yes, she had no issue washing her hands. It was, you know, it was her doctors, you know I had to go that route because you just said it, but no, because she died in in childbirth or shortly after. Yeah, it was not long after the childbed fever. And again, I think I've literally said this exact line on this podcast before is wasn't she the one he wanted to be buried next to her when he died? Because I think it was her and I could be. Obviously he had so many fucking wives and some were beheaded that I could be screwing this up, but I want to say he wanted to be buried next to her because he, she, was his favorite and I think a big part of her being his favorite was she had a son, yeah, which he could never have yeah, he did not have with previous marriages.

8:02 Yes. So, since he's just a teenager and he doesn't have a male heir, yes. He fears the throne will pass to his Catholic half sister, Mary Tudor. Which it eventually does. Or Mary the First, or. Bloody Mary. Or Bloody Mary. Yeah, okay, popular drink on Saturday mornings. Edward's older half sister. Yeah. Who is? Maryary, the first mother oh, that's, uh and balloon no wait, mary the first bloody mary, who's blary? bloody mary's mother and balloon no, who catherine of aragorn oh god, fucking damn it.

8:47 Yes, aragorn, yeah, I know, no, yeah, yeah no I'm thinking of elizabeth's mother, which is anne boleyn. Fuck my bad so because ed king, edward the six is 15, he's dying. He has advisors who are basically running the show and they pretty much were the whole time the whole time he was only 15 because he was only 15 when did he take over from when henry died? I don't remember. He was pretty effing young, I believe, and he didn't rule for that long either. I mean, he never really ruled he never really ruled his advisors took over from the get-go yeah, they had to love that because oh, they absolutely adored that because they were king adjacent and they wanted to continue that so well, of course they did, because they had ultimate power disguised under a fucking kid, basically yes, and the prospect that catholic, catholic mary Mary could be queen gives the Protestant advisor some serious anxiety.

9:49 Yeah, so let's enter John Dudley. Duke of Northumberland, yes, duke of Northumberland, northumberland. You had it the second time, then you fucking ruined it again. I know I kept talking. Yeah, you should stop. He was pretty much a top advisor with his own agenda. He had like this twisted mustache, villainous type of situation going on, do you? think you put a lot of product in it to curl it can I like that? that was one too many, but yes, so northumberland um convinces the dying edward to alter the line of succession so you called him northumberland dudley john dudley is north, nor is duke of northumberland, and I'm just calling him north are you trying to cover what you fucked up there?

10:36 are you actually calling him that? I'm calling him northumberland hey town, what'sland Okay? Sorry I was just confirming. I mean, I just don't want to get lost here. So he wants to alter the line of succession in favor of Jane Gray, who is grand niece to Henry VIII. Okay, okay, so let's get the family tree out. Yeah. Henry VIII's sister. Yes, mary Tudor, not Bloody Mary. Okay, so let's get the family tree out. Yeah, henry, the eighth sister. Yes, mary Tudor, not bloody Mary. No, okay, his sister, mary Tudor. Yeah. Had a daughter named Francis Brandon. Okay. Who had a daughter named Jane Gray.

11:18 Jane Gray. Okay, okay, got it. So by altering the line, it skips over Bloody Mary and her sister, which was his ultimate goal. Yes, and her sister Elizabeth. Queen Elizabeth, yes, and skips over Jane Grey's mother, Frances Brandon. She was kind of older, she already had children, you know. So they just kind of skipped over her and went straight to Jane. Elizabeth's mother is Anne Boleyn Anne Boleyn, correct. So if Frances became queen she wouldn't have been as easy for Northumberland and the council to control. So that brings us to Jane.

11:58 She's a Protestant and conveniently married to Northumberland's son. Well, no wonder he wanted her. Fucking dumbass. Guilford Dudley. Guilford. Wow, I would want to do things in my brain if I was named Guilford. So Edward's new will, called the device of the succession, names Lady Jane Grey and her male heirs as the next monarchs. But by bypassing his half-sisters on the grounds that they're illegitimate, mary would flip england back to catholicism, which is exactly what they didn't want and that's exactly what she tried to do when she was queen for sure, fast forward so do you remember when we talked about um, uh, forced confessions and stuff?

12:50 it's basically what this is uh forced. Hey, edward, this is what you want right, yes, yes it's basically the same concept, because, no, no, you don't know that. Yeah, but you're really blurry. These aren't even real glasses. These are blue light glasses, yeah, but these are real glasses. And then I was fogging up because it's warm in here. Yeah, you better know. No, it's still warm. Okay, drink more. Okay, okay, no, I'm in. Still warm. Okay, drink more. Okay, okay, cheers. So Edward dies on June nope, july 6th 1553.

13:32 Okay, and his death is kept like hush hush for a couple of days. Northumberland has a plan to pull off, so he needs to install Jane as queen before bloody mary gets and I'm saying bloody mary so we don't confuse all the marys yeah, because there's mary tudor, and then there's mary, the first tutor, yeah, but one is bloody mary and one is sister to henry yes, so um, I get it. Yeah, so I'm just referring to her as bloody mary just like you refer to dudley as northumberland exactly not his name, because his son's name is is dudley too so northumberland? Exactly Not his name, because his son's name is Dudley 2. So Northumberland. Why was his name Dudley 2? Like the number 2? . Okay, Anyways continue.

14:14 So they don't want Bloody Mary to get wind of anything. So on July 9th, Three days later. Jane is brought to Scion House, which is Northumberland's estate. Jane, she's very accomplished for her age. Oh nice. She speaks or reads like six different languages. So if she can't speak it, she can at least read it. Right, which I wish I could just read one other language. I can better read English. At one point she like reads plato in greek for fun. She knows theology and philosophy and has zero intention that sounds like a hoot zero intention of ever becoming queen.

14:56 It's not in her radar. She was radar she was fifth in line it's, it's her, her father-in-law. She didn't. She wanted to be her. Yeah, he wanted to be only because she had the. Obviously the, the tie to the family. Yeah, but yeah, no, she sounds like she was doing fine on her own yes, exactly so. Here comes northumberland and he breaks the news jane sweetie you're queen now. Piece of cake um. Jane promptly passes out. Oh, she literally faints. Well, I mean, it's quite a lot to take in. It's a lot to ain't course. She's like wait what you know, corsets and stuff, probably a little tight yeah, she probably didn't have great drinking water, you know probably had mud in it probably I don't know, so not they didn't have a great water, you know Probably had mud in it Probably, I don't know they didn't have a great filtration system back then.

15:48 Probably not. I do. No, brita, I do. Yeah, you said that twice. Now I got it. Do you want to say it one more? I got it. That was three too many. So, after coming to the poor girl protests quote I doth protest, quote I don't protest the crown is not my right. It please pleaseth me not. Aren't those the kind of people you kind of want to put there, though, because they don't want it? but yeah, usually they're the best I know, but jane even insists um no. Mary is the rightful heir. What the heck are you doing? Yeah, like this, this ain't right dude, but j but Jane's dad, Mr Henry Gray, Duke of Suffolk hey, Duke of Suffolk, who supports Northumberland the father-in-law.

16:32 So this wasn't the Henry Cavill and the Tudors show, right? This would be a different Duke of Suffolk, because the Henry Cavill character in the Tudors was friends with Henry. So I wonder if he was dead already. I don't remember when he died. So if you're talking about Henry VIII, this is farther down the line. I understand that. So I've never seen the whole series, I've only seen like series the um. What's her name? Natalie dorman yes I've only seen parts of her parts parts of her parts. Well, she does take her top off in it, so so you've seen parts of her parts, I guess so anyway.

17:13 Um, so dad is in plot with father-in-law and half the privy council pressuring jane, who is reluctant, and she says fine, I'll be queen if it's truly lawful. It was signed by the king, it is now truly lawful, whatever. She basically has no choice. Okay, these, these guys, her father, her father-in-law, the council, they all have bigger agendas. What did hubby think of this? was he on board? he wants to be king, of course he does and jane says no, no, no if I'm gonna be queen, I'm gonna be queen, I'm going to be queen.

17:55 Right, you can be Duke. She gives him a dukedom. That's how Elizabeth II had it all that time. With her husband, Prince Philip. Philip right, yes, she called him a prince he was never king of England. Only she was queen of England. Yep, the whole time they were together. So yeah, I mean that's not the same situation. yeah basically so, july 10th 1553, jane gray is 16 or 17. She's got like two years of potential birth, so she's either 16 or 17, not exactly. Yeah, wasn't exactly, um, but she is proclaimed queen of england wow okay, her, her status is announced on the streets of london, but the response pretty much, and the response of the london londoners weren't exactly buying it no, they're like what?

18:52 They know that bloody mary is the legit heir, so the public reaction is pretty much silent against jane. They're just like the same the same. They're like nice joke yeah yeah, let's, let's go say hi to the queen so one guy even says just a bystander, he says lady mary has a better claim, and the north berlin promptly, and then Northumberland promptly, cuts off his ears for treasonous talk. So everybody else is like I won't say nothing. That is a dick move. What is a dick? Well, clearly, because he's got his own agenda, like we said, and he literally mutilates this person for treasonous in his eyes.

19:37 But honestly, what he did is fucking treason. Yes, so you're kind of an asshole for cutting this dude's ears off because he's like no, this, this chick over here's got a better claim than she does. Yeah, she's not fifth in line, she's literally fucking first in line. Yeah, so what the fuck? yes, so queen jane is um experiencing kind of a bad first week of a new job. Essentially, yeah, she is escorted to the tower of london. Now, if you recall, the tower of london has many hats. It is um royal apartments, it is um a prison dungeon a dungeon? yeah, it's. It's pretty much everything, and poor lady Lady Jane experiences it all, oh dear.

20:21 It's traditional for monarchs to go to the Tower of London before coronation. So that's where she goes. She tries on the state crown and nearly faints at how heavy it is, like she's just she doesn't want to be where she is. That was not her lot in life, that's not what she wanted. No, and here she is being thrust into this role all because of popping line. Yeah. Papa so so at this point is when her husband is like I want to be King, and she said, uh, you're going to be Duke dick. Yeah, and I think that was a quote Actually you're gonna be Duke dick like that. Yeah, she knew that she had the tutor blood and he didn't.

21:04 It ain't going to happen, dude. No, he was just hoping hey, we're married, Look at me go. Yeah, you're going to be a Duke, so that's not how it always works, yeah. So Northumberland sent word to bloody mary and sister elizabeth to come to london and stay at the tower of london. For their safety, oh lord, or for their capture yeah, it's a trap can I put a little clip of admiral akbar? It's a trap, please do. Do you think I can get away with that? Is that allowed, or am I going to get sued by Lucasfilm? I kind of want to get sued by Lucasfilm. Just put a made by Lucasfilm.

21:46 Courtesy of Lucasfilm. Courtesy of Lucasfilm Return of the Jedi 1983. Do it. So if Mary walked into the tower, she'd be under Northumberland's control, making it much easier to prevent her from claiming the throne. And also leaving probably. So the moment that Mary heard Edward died, edward VI died and Jane was declared king, mary fled to Queen. Queen Mary fled to East Anglia, anglia, like Jolie, anglia, anglia. Anglia, anglia Like Jolie. Anglia, anglia Maybe it's Anglia. Maybe that might be. But basically it's like you know how like I'm literally picturing the British Isles.

22:30 You know how like. England is kind of like a fucked up triangle. More or less yeah. It's like the east side, like right there, not totally south, but like yeah, it's like that little bump out on the east side. Okay, so that's where she's at. My computer keeps going, all weird. So Mary, who's there? She's not totally in her thumbs right. She's going to build some support. She builds an army. Yeah, Catholic sympathizers, anti-dudley or northumberland, nobles common folks who remember henry's eldest daughter and how they all start lining up behind mary well, she was very beloved and that's why, like, when you call her bloody mary, it's almost kind of funny, because, like when she took over, she was adamant to get the catholic back into England, even though her dad is the one that killed it, because all he just wanted a fucking divorce.

23:24 So he wanted a divorce yeah. Properly banging, and Berlin, I should say, because you know that was happening prior to the divorce and you know the whole Church of England was created because of her dad and everything. But she still had a lot of support because even though he did all that, a lot of people are still Catholic. They just had to hide it, yeah. So I mean I can't imagine it wouldn't have been hard for her to gain support from the people of England basically yeah, exactly. Yeah. So Mary, by contrast, has some goodwill At this point. She's not yet Bloody Mary, she's just Princess Mary who got a raw deal. Yeah, and, like I said, I just call her Bloody Mary, just to keep her apart from Henry VIII's sister Mary.

24:09 I get it which I guess we don't really talk about anymore. So stop calling her Bloody Mary, I'm just kidding. In mid-July 1553, mary gathers an army in eastern England, while Northumberland marches his own troops out of London to stop her. Oh, but However. His troops start deserting. Because they're like no, we're not going to win this. Yeah, they're actually like no, I actually believe that Mary's the rightful heir, so did some of them defect to her army. Yes, okay, I kind of figured that was the course of action for them, because why wouldn't it be? When they understand, even though they're Northumberland's guys, they're like yeah, I don't really believe in this.

24:55 So back in London the Privy Council is having a collective change of heart. They are starting to smell Northumberland's like imminent failure Bullshit basically. So just over nine days, support for Jane kind of evaporates, and it's not because of her. No, it's because of her father-in-law. Yeah, and it's because of Mary and herin-law. yeah, and it's because of mary and her the rightful, rightful heir path to the throne. Yeah jane was kind of in wrong place at wrong time see, and that's kind of shitty because it was not her fault it wasn't at all. I mean, that's not really fair, to put this how old was she again? 16, 17 yeah, so I mean, you put this teenager in a position she never even fucking wanted.

25:40 And then people are like more or less, especially because back then with the word of mouth and so on, are like fuck this bitch, not her fault. Nope, not her fault, and I know, and I understand that a lot of them understood, that it was Northumberland doing what basically he was doing. I mean, what the fuck yeah? so council members who swore loyalty to queen jane are now sneaking out to join team mary. Okay, and on july 19th north umberland's forces are melting away and the council now declares actually, we're gonna make mary queen. Sorry jane, we're gonna rewind a little bit so this is.

26:22 This was only 13 days after edward died. Yeah, okay yeah, so they literally abandoned jane in the tower oh dear some of them excuse themselves saying that they need to consult other members of the privy, but then they would go and proclaim Mary as the queen. So they're all just abandoning Jane. So they lock her up. They did, they did. So that same day, july 19th, mary Tudor triumphantly enters London as queen. Okay, jane's reign ends after just nine days Wow. That's wild.

27:03 Her father, henry Gray, comes to Jane and basically says my bad. Sweetie, it's over my bad. You're no longer queen we kind of fucked up. Let's hightail it out of here. Yeah, so if you could just forgive me. But Jane is like okay, thank God, because I didn't want this. And I even declared Mary queen before I even accepted. She's just happy that she is. She told them I don't want this. No, the rightful heir is Mary, and I don't want this, but they're like no, you really do, do I though? Yeah, no.

27:43 So she was glad to be relieved of it and she asks if she can go home. Right. Unfortunately. Mary's like no she doesn't get to go home. No, mary orders Jane and Guildford contained to the tower. Okay, now, the tower that they're in. They have Royal apartments and that's what they've been staying in, so they're basically under house arrest. Yes, okay, so they're not in cells or anything like that. No, they have pretty good digs for being in a prison. If you will, they do so yeah. North under Northumberland, himself is arrested Good, and he does lose his head in a few weeks time because of treason. See, and they should have cut his ears off and gave it back to that guy.

28:27 I'm sure the medical professions back then could accomplish that Right. Fucking dick so I didn't look into this part any further. But um, jane's father, um, switched to mary's side at the last minute and mary did forgive him for a time but eventually didn't forgive him and I'm not sure if he was executed or what. I didn't look into that. Well, she executed a lot of people. She did. Let's just assume that he was even if not, let's pretend let's pretend so for a few months jane's life kind of hangs in limbo. Um mary, the first, now queen, kind of faces a little bit of a dilemma. Jane is a political pawn but she's also a protestant and some, some of the protestants are considering jane to be kind of a martyr in making right, so like someone who is destined to die for their religion.

29:21 Essentially, yeah, and she doesn't want to like promote that. Promote that she doesn't want to. People did like Jane they just didn't think she could be queen or should be queen. She shouldn't have been. So Mary was also kind of saving face a little bit and Jane is 16 or 17 years old and mary's like I really don't want to execute. First of all, my cousin, yeah. Second of all, someone so young right so she spares jane's life, at first hoping to show a little bit of mercy at first and yes at first, and then jane and guilford remain locked up in the tower of london.

30:01 Who's guilford again. Is that her husband? I thought so, but I just want to make sure they are convicted of treason in november 1553, but kept alive as long as they're not a threat. At this point, they're not a threat, they're under house arrest. What are they gonna do? But see that, hey guard, I'm the real queen follow me now. But see, that's horseshit. That she was convicted of treason because she was forced into that, did she not tell mary like no I? I thought you were the queen I'm sure there's a lot of hearsay that doesn't get like legitimized, and that's the problem. Yeah, and I'd like to say just back then but even today, with all the fucking social media and such, there's a lot of hearsay.

30:43 Yeah, what are you supposed to believe? Yeah, you know, it's like, especially with all the fake shit people put out like these days, could you imagine the fake shit that went from town to town or whatever, because someone like north umberland or whatever said some shit and like, hey, did you hear? it's like it's not real man, but I don't know that. Do you know what's fake on me these glasses? yeah they're blue, like I've got contacts in. Oh, that's so fucking creepy. Okay, it's blue. Now it's yellow blue. Yeah, blue, yellow. Okay, so in early 1554, queen mary, what, what the fuck just happened? Blue yellow, blue yellow because everything is tinted yellow no, I, I get it why'd you ask the question?

31:31 it was more or less. I'm trying to understand you and that is an enigma I will never understand okay, so in early 1554 yes queen mary announces plans to marry prince philip of spain. Yes, who is a catholic? Hapsburg weird philip was the son of charles v. Yeah, holy roman emperor, yeah, which made him one of the greatest catholics in catholic royals in europe. He was pretty great, yeah, yeah so a bunch of english nobles are losing their minds. If mary marries him, mary marries, people feared. England would then be like a pawn or a puppet from spain, okay and they did not want.

32:18 No, they did at all they did not like the idea of of potential um foreign king meddling in england's politics essentially because they were the ones that are used to doing that yes, that's fair, I mean I'm not hello american revolution hey. American. Revolution, hey, hey. So a Spanish marriage essentially meant a supercharged Catholic restoration. She and I mean. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure she was going to set this up to try and bolster the Catholic part of what she wanted, Cause she always did not want what her dad did.

32:59 No, she wanted Catholicism. She had a very big grudge against her father. Well, yeah, because she hated the fact that. Well, she dumped her mom for Anne Boleyn. Um, she hated that and the way he he treated her at the end, even though she lived a pretty lavish life for being fucking cast away, if you will. She didn't like suffer and wasn't a peasant all of a sudden, but, yes, she was pissed about what happened to her mom because she's like, well, this isn't, this isn't fucking right. You know, um, and she was a devout catholic. She hated the new like order of religion and again, religion back then was very prevalent, yes, obviously so yes, now I believe in the show, the tutors yeah queen catherine of aragon is played by maria doyle kennedy.

33:58 That sounds right, I think she's irish. She's amazing, by the way. She was great in that show. Have you ever seen her act like I mean? in that show you have. She is so good. Oh, she's great. Have you seen um? she's a really pretty lady, oh yeah, she's so beautiful. Have you seen Orphan Black? I've never actually seen it, I know great, great, great show she was in that she. She has a supporting, very small supporting role because I I can vaguely picture the lead in that show, but I've never actually watched. I think is that cory, cory and I, my brother, will give the, the writer of our intro music and outro music um he'll.

34:46 Well, I said that one we give each other. Uh, did you spill? no god, I wish I wouldn't have missed that. Good thing, I have it on video anywho. Um, we give give each other recommendations for shows and stuff and whatever movies or whatever. I can't remember if Orphan Black was one that he told me, though For some reason I'm thinking it is, but now I'm thinking it might have been Black Mirror. It's about a bunch of clones, but the lead she plays different clones of herself and she is brilliant. I'm trying to blank on her name. I can picture her, but I'm trying to blank on her name, I can picture her. Yeah, trying to blank on tatiana. I don't know, it sounds maybe tatiana milsani, something let's stop guessing names that we're not sure of but she is so great at accents and different character, oh my gosh, she's so good, okay, nice, okay.

35:34 So yeah, enter sir thomas wyatt. He was the son of a diplomat under henry the eighth okay, okay sure he was a protestant who also didn't want spain to rule from across the seas of course not, so he um raised about 3 000 men oh and performed wyatt's rebellion. Oh it it erupts, in January of 1554, aiming to overthrow Mary. Oh shit. Okay, and guess who follows him? Northumberland Henry Gray, Jane's father. Oh fuck, yes. So that's part of the reason why it goes downhill from there. Yes, fucking hell, yes.

36:16 Couldn't you be like Dad Hill from there? Yes, fucking hell, yes His involvement. Could you be like Dad? His involvement with this revolt basically signs Jane's death warrant. See, and that's horseshit. It ain't her fault, her dad's on the deep end. And her father-in-law is a dumb fuck. No, not her fault. Wow, so Wyatt planned to march on London, dispose Mary and possibly put Elizabeth, the Protestant daughter of Henry VIII on the throne instead. Right. At first things looked promising, oh promising, but support fizzled, oh dear. Yes, mary gave a fiery speech and she framed herself as England's rightful queen and patriot, and Londoners that were with Wyatt were like yeah, I'm sorry, wyatt.

37:02 But see, the problem is she was exactly right. She was exactly right. I mean, these other people had these grandiose fucking ideas, but she was the rightful heir to the throne because the boy, the boy king. King. Edward VI the sixth died. Yes, it still goes. Also was the rightful heir at the time, the rightful heir at the time. Because he was a male. So he bypassed Elizabeth, he bypassed Mary and anyone else in that grand world. Because he was a male Once he died of tuberculosis, which, again thank you for that I male Once he died of tuberculosis, which, again thank you for that, I did not know he died of tuberculosis. Um, obviously next in line is the oldest daughter, cause it doesn't just jump families unless you're fucking dumb shit from Northumberland.

37:51 The first daughter, yeah exactly. So that's Mary. Yeah, so she was the rightful fucking heir, no matter what other people wanted, like douchebag northumberland who then apparently got his daughter-in-law fucking killed eventually because walls are her dad power so was northumberland, executed by this point um I'm not sure what, no, okay when that happened because you said a couple weeks later so I wasn't sure. Yeah, it was a couple weeks later. This whole time frame was not a very long amount of time. No, but we're already in January-ish, so I'm guessing Northumberland was already killed. I would assume so, but I don't know. Yeah, I'm sorry, he wasn't killed, he was executed.

38:33 There's a difference there's a difference. So. So mary gave her her speech and a lot of wyatt's followers were like sorry, dude, we're gonna, we're gonna follow mary, yeah, and he, he was blocked at the london bridge and he was arrested and he was kept. He was captured, executed as well was he drawn and quoted he? I don't know about that, but during his trial, why it does insist that he did want elizabeth on the throne because she was protestant, okay, but he does insist that elizabeth had zero involvement in his rebellion, sure.

39:15 So that suspicion on elizabeth did hang over her head for quite a few years. I'm not surprised. And Mary had Elizabeth locked in the tower for a bit, but then eventually spared her. Yep, so sister thankfully, Wyatt pulled out a little bit of a good grace and said Elizabeth had no part in this, but he was beheaded on April 11th 1554. I am Okay, okay, it's a good day so mary and her council conclude that as long as jane lives, she's gonna be a rallying point for future rebels she's not. Did she talk to her? I know, I mean seriously. Did she have a conversation? I? just want to read plato in.

39:56 That's all I want to do. I want to go back to my life. I never even wanted this. Yeah. Douchebag dad who lost his head and father-in-law who lost his head who? Lost his head. I didn't want this. Yeah, I don't know, maybe have a conversation. But it's funny because even if they had a conversation back then they're like what if she lied? Yeah, you can't have that we just have to make sure. Off with their heads. Exactly she was going to be made an example of. Yep, most people were back then. So Mary reluctantly orders their execution. Her Jane and Guilford's I don't feel like it's reluctant, but all right. Guilford Dudley is taken out of his royal apartment cell and beheaded on Tower Hill.

40:41 Oh boy, okay, tower Hill is located outside of the grounds of the Tower of London, but still very close. It's within walking distance. I was going to say that, but that wasn't very eloquent. But thank you for being that eloquent so his headless body did it roll down the hill? is carted past jane's window. She can see out, she can see tower hill. They did that on purpose. They did that on purpose um they carted his body past jane's window on the way back from the scaffold. So thank you for that traumatic sight, your majesty now um.

41:23 Later that morning, jane is led to tower green. Now tower green sits within the tower walls, yeah, and is more, more of a private execution. Oh, that's so nice. She's a teenage girl. Excuse me, I ordered the private execution. The private execution. And, coincidentally, this is also where Anne Boleyn died. Yes, was on Tower Green. The funny thing. Coincidentally, a lot of other people probably died there too. Yes, but she was the other notable one. Well, yeah, but Lady Grain. Lady Gray, she gives a small speech affirming her faith and asking for forgiveness.

42:07 She's actually very dignified and very courageous when she's approaching the scaffold. She famously asked her executioner quote please dispatch me quickly, end quote oh, that's so nice. Let's get this over with. It's like you know what? You've touched my heart. I will kill you quickly. Yeah, exactly so she blindfolds herself it was probably something that had to be done, so she just did it herself, yeah, but she couldn't find, like the execution block, um, so she literally cried out where is it? And someone guided her to it. Oh, that was very uh nice of them to do that. Yes, and let me show you to your death.

42:49 Yes, exactly, and lady Jane gray was um executed by beheading, uh, as 16 or 17 years old, depending on what year she was born, which we do not know for sure. Right, right, right. So that is pretty sad. She is known as the Nine Days Queen. Wow, yes, so it is the shortest reign of any English monarch before or since. Wow, yeah, I mean, that makes sense. Mary would go on to earn her name Bloody Mary. Killing a lot of Protestants. She burned several hundred Protestants. Yeah, and Jane Grey was named as a Protestant martyr.

43:32 Crazy. I mean, I feel like they could have had a conversation. But would they have listened to each other? Cause, you know Cause. I said you were the rightful one. I mean, I know times were different. Lady Jane was kind of a symbol in Mary's eyes of the Protestant Reformation and so to get rid of the protestants she had to get rid of lady jane well, yeah, because she wanted to kill the protestants, basically because she wanted catholicism back as the religion for her country, and that's honestly the reason why she's called bloody mary.

44:14 This is funny. Let's kill a lot of people in the name of God, because that's never happened before or since, but either way, it's just funny how many people have died in the name of God, when it's just the people doing it, using that as a scapegoat. Reference to last week's episode of Mary Osgood and the Witch Trials of Salem. It's all for God. Okay, of mary osgood and the witch trials of salem. It's all for god. Okay, see, and again, to each their own in their religion. Um, stop using him as a scapegoat. It's the people that are fucking shit up. Yeah, you know, and it's kind of sad that they use whether you believe it or not, they use him as a, as the fucking reason for their do-goodiness, or?

44:57 Their awfulness or their awfulness, which usually the do-goodiness is, uh disguise, disguising the the awfulness, because they're using it. They're using something good to hide something bad is typically what it is and it's just so dumb. There was a lot of people that we talked about, yes, but I think I would love to do like a future episode on Bloody Mary, I think. I would love that. I always found her intriguing. I mean again, the Tudor show is great. I'm trying to blank on the actress's name who played her. She was really good as her oh as Mary.

45:46 Yeah, yeah, fuck with that. I know it. I'm just drawing a blank but um, are you looking it up? sarah bulger. Thank you, I don't know who that is well, she played mary so thank you uh, I really like her, though. She's good. She's good in that role um yeah, I think I've only seen a couple episodes it's, it's a. It's a great show yeah, um, let's see, how many seasons do you know? off the top of your head. I want to say you're right, four seasons and what's the jonathan jonathan, jonathan, reese myers is king henry the eighth. So and henry cavill is charles brandon Jonathan. Jonathan Rhys Myers is King Henry VIII and Henry Cavill is Charles Brandon. Duke of Suffolk so he Charles Brandon, then must have been.

46:29 Francis Brandon's husband, lady Jane's dad husband, what, what he would be his husband brandon, charles brandon, because francis brandon was was lady jane's mom oh, her name was francis francis brandon why does that seem like a male name to me? now. Now I'm a little confused. Well, that wouldn't be the first time. Of course this isn't like historical documents or anything. No, it's obviously got Hollywood liberties, but Okay, charles Brandon is first Duke of Sussex, suffolk, suffolk, and he was married to mary tutor and was the brother-in-law of king henry the eighth.

47:27 Correct this, this family tree is massive and intertwined intertwined. The names of everybody is the same name as the generation before them, and the generation after them and it is so freaking, confusing. You have to remember they only had so many names back then. I disagree. I don't Cause Henry the 23rd um. I don't get it. It's kind of like be your own goddamn individual. Well, that's why, like when, when last names weren't a thing back in those times, middle names were certainly not, so you'd have Henry.

48:10 What did Henry do? Well, he's a carpenter. Those names Henry, carpenter, like that's how the name Carpenter came to be. Yeah. Kind of thing, and obviously a lot of other ones. Um, good thing, whore wasn't a common last name, but uh. But uh, yeah, I mean there was only, and a lot of them were biblical, of course, a lot of them were based off of kings and such I don't think they really had a lot of creativity behind them no, they had. They didn't have like great literary, literary works like we do today to uh base off their characters I said great literary works.

48:53 That is what you would call not that's nicer than what I was about to say. I mean unfortunately. I have watched the movies and I have actually read the books. I didn't read twilight. I read the other three, um, but uh, they're not what you would call great it's. So my friend, amy, likes to read a lot. She reads a ton of books, yeah, and I have shit on some of them. She's try this and I did, and it's like this is just. This makes me want to blow my brains out, but she reads a lot more.

49:34 I guess you would call him young adult, yeah, if you will, because she also is like Peter pan and can't grow up but, love you, amy. But uh, that's what those were is just they were young adult trash, more or less. And the more I watched the movies, the more I just wanted to like say the death of cinema is happening. But uh, anywho, he'll always be cedric diggory, fuck edward, but anyways, um, but yeah. So now I'm derailed by the shit movies that I watched once in my life and read and read for that the novels.

50:21 No, what I was trying to go for is great literary work, like where my daughter got her name from, but you had to go to twilight casino royale written by who? Oh, he was in one of our stories. You did it specifically for me, I know I did it in um I did it in the first Origin of Weird story the Operation Mincemeat. There you are. And what was that? Sir Conan Doyle. Arthur. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Who wrote Sherlock Holmes? Did he write Sherlock Holmes? Yes, ian Fleming. Oh, I got there, I got there. You got there, ian Fleming, oh, I got there, you got there. Ian Fleming. I'm surprised.

51:02 Shernan Conan Doyle. Shernan Conan Doyle. Shernan Conan Doyle Conan. Doyle, is that what you did before? He wrote Sherlock Sir. Arthur Conan. God now you're fucking me up, sir Arthur Conan, god fuck you. You, yes, he wrote sherlock I'm not even gonna say it anymore okay, so ian fleming. I have not read that book. Have you read that book? casino royale yes great job my daughter is named after that book and slash movie. I know, you told me, I know. You love Vesper. I love Vesper. She's so cute and sassy I thought it was salsa Sassy pants they call her.

51:45 Okay, so how do you like Zipline Brewing Company, the Vesper? The German sale lager. The one thing I didn't like about it is the fact that both my cans ran out. No, it's very good. Actually, I don't mind it. Like you said, for being a uh a fest beer, being the German style lager, uh, a little lighter on the not so heavy which I also kind of prefer in a lager, for that matter. Uh no, I, I rather enjoy this. So it really was smooth, it really enjoy this. It really was smooth, it really was malty, it really was crisp. Thank you can for. Very festy beer. And it definitely was 6.0. I think I need to add another 6.0 to my body.

52:29 No, it was really good. What did you think about it? I really liked it. I liked that it was lighter as well. I really liked it. I liked that it was lighter as well. It would probably not be something that I would pick. No, but for a one-off or once in a great while kind of thing. Absolutely. Yeah, 100%. I am not a huge Oktoberfest beer fan. Yeah, just personal preference. I used to sell a fuck ton of Oktoberfest beers, especially. Is that Leidenkugel's Oktoberfest, or is Oktoberfest like a generalized? Generalized style. Okay. One of the ones I sold the most was Samuel Adams. That one is actually a very good one. So a lot of that, a lot of Leine's, a boatload of others.

53:14 Of course as well Hacker Shore, but that's available year-round. That's from Germany, A lot of others I'm not going to go into all of them, obviously, but I just never was a huge. I'm also not a big lager fan. However, I've been drinking a lot of Coors Banquet lately, which is so. I think maybe that might have prepped me for this one a little bit. Yeah. But it was, it was delicious. I could actually rather enjoy it. so so I wanted to give a shout out real quick to Tony. Oh for our Shelton's episode, tony. No. Different Tony. Different Tony. So Shelton, the Shelton Brothers gang, tony that he is from Peoria.

53:58 Illinois, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am speaking about Tony from Iowa, des Moines. I think he's in Des Moines, iowa. He is a listener of ours and he actually grew up in Nebraska with my brother's family. Oh that Tony, yeah, my brother, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, and I have not seen Tony in many, many, many a year you haven't seen that, yeah. But he is still very, very close with my brother and my sister-in-law and my parents just love him, and so just wanted to say hi, tony, thank you so much for listening. Please send in one of your favorite historical stories.

54:41 We'd love to do one for you thank you, tony I don't know, or a beer. Tell us what kind of beer you like yes, and we'll get one of those as well so as long as we can get it here as long as we can get it here, as long as we can get it in eastern Wisconsin or figure out a way to ship it to Kate, and then we'll have it on this podcast there you go, there you go. Figure it out. Well. I suppose All right, buffoons, that's it for today's episode. Buckle up, because we've got another historical adventure waiting for you. Next time Feeling hungry for more buffoonery, or maybe you have a burning question or a wild historical theory for us to explore. Hit us up on social media.

55:22 We're History Buffoons Podcast on YouTube X, instagram and Facebook. You can also email us at historybuffoonspodcast at gmailcom. We are Bradley and Kate. Music by Corey Akers. Follow us wherever you get your podcasts and turn those notifications on to stay in the loop. Until next time, stay curious and don't forget to rate and review us. Remember the buffoonery never stops. Love it, love it, Love it, love it.