Unavailable Orifices: Astronauts

0:10 Oh hey there, oh hey there. We are the History Poffoons. Hey, we said it right away, well done. I'm Kate and I'm Bradley, and it's too early for a beer. So we decided to go with a soda. We're not going to say which ones. It doesn't really matter, does it? I am having a Sprite. Okay, we're just saying it. And I'm having a Mountain Dew Zero, baja Blast. No, it's one o'clock in the afternoon, and we've done, we've recorded this early before, haven't we? Maybe at two o'clock? Yeah, we've recorded this early before.

0:51 But neither of us are feeling the beer, so we went with soda. Let me give you a little taste test here. Oh, this one is quite refreshing. How is the bubble consistency. It's actually pretty excellent, excellent, good yeah. So I'm still recovering from my cold, so it feels really great on the throat. Sure, sure, I can taste like a nice citrusy under layer, like a lemon, lemon lime. Oh, really yeah. Yeah, I really like it. I wonder if it's natural or artificial. Well, it does say 100% natural flavors. Oh good, because that artificial stuff, that's just not good for you.

1:31 Yeah, and there's no caffeine, which I just took a nap. So, yeah, I do have a coffee with me as well. Thank goodness, I believe our soda talk has gone on too long. So, we should maybe, I don't know move on. Okay, well, I've got a question for you. What question do you have for me today, Kate? What did you want to be when you grew up Elementary, middle school, high school what did you want to be? I always wanted to be a musician. Yeah. Which I believe I mentioned a couple ago, my plan B, because that was my plan.

2:17 A yeah, that's right. I always wanted to be a musician, though, but I guess I didn't really think of anything else specific. I never said I want to be a doctor. I never wanted to be a musician, though, but, uh, I guess I didn't really think of anything else specific. Like I never said I want to be a doctor. You know, I never wanted to be a doctor. Uh, thank god for people not being in my care that way but um no, I just probably always wanted to be a musician and well, that didn't pan out. So I should say a professional musician. I'm technically a musician, I can play music, but if you ask a lot of people, people would say drums aren't that. So whatever. But you're like. I keep the rhythm yo.

2:57 Yeah, you do, keep the beat. Lay down some sick beats. Not really, but I like playing. I need to play again. It's been a while, so I wanted to be a vet did you yeah yeah, and then I wanted to be a biologist yeah, you actually told me that once yeah there was one time we were supposed to do like some kind of like on-site shadowing, and I don't remember who I picked. He was part of like the Nebraska um biology association. Okay, I have no idea, I just made that up. Oh anyway, he worked for the parks, I believe.

3:37 Okay, um, he drove me out into the wild and together we counted how many cranes we could see. Like he had to do some kind of like census with the population and all I remember thinking is I am motion sick from his driving Jeez. That's the worst, and you do get motion sick from certain driving roads. Yes. Windy, whatever. So I've I've witnessed that firsthand. Yes, so I was so motion sick. But I was. I didn't say anything, and I just pretended to count.

4:18 So the census for that for the crane that year is probably not accurate, Probably a little off. That's funny. Wow, well done. But no, I don't I mean, I know how you get sometimes in cars so um, yeah, I'm not surprised at that well, there is one career that is kind of a big deal, big feat to become. Sure. And that is an astronaut. Yeah, yeah, I can imagine there's a lot that goes into becoming an astronaut and we're going to talk about that. Ooh, are we talking about someone specific? No, yes, yeah no yeah, no, no yeah.

5:05 Okay, fair enough. So if you recall, recall because you're this old. No, you're not this old. You might not even be an idea in your parents brain at this point. But apollo 11, yeah, crew of three landed on the moon july 20th 1969 that was 10 years before I was born. I definitely was not a even a thought in my parents' brain. So um, I think it would be so cool to witness that on TV though. My mom and dad have told me about it, like them watching it and everything from when it happened. Yeah, I mean cause, I mean my dad would have been 27 at the time. So yeah, as a. Well, my dad would have been 27 at the time, so yeah, as uh, I mean it would have been really something to to see.

5:49 Yeah, most definitely can you name the three astronauts. I think you can get two out of the three, yeah, and of course now I'm like center stage right here going uh, buzz aldrin, that that is one. Yes, and Neil Armstrong, yes, and I always forget the third, because he technically didn't go out on the moon, right, he stayed in the shuttle right. So you've got Commander Neil Armstrong Yep, lunar Module Pilot Edwin Buzz E Aldrin Jr Yep, and then Command Modular Pilot Michael Collins. That's right, yeah, michael. Collins, I always forget his name. Sorry, michael.

6:30 Yeah. Poor guy. I almost wish like I wonder if he like regrets not being able to go out there. I mean you would think so because you always hear about Buzz and Neil. Yeah, but and nobody remembers poor Michael. Poor Michael, some, yeah, but uh, nobody remembers poor michael. Poor michael, some people do. I'm sure I would hope so, but yeah, I mean I don't know if he ever regretted not actually doing it, but maybe maybe he wasn't supposed to anyway, but well, yeah, because he had to stay back and monitor and man the yeah, the module. So yeah um, yeah, I wonder if he was like you can't get off here he probably looked out the window. Be like guys, guys, bring me some moon dust I'd really like some moon dust to bring home to the wife he looks like a dog with his head sticking out with his round domed helmet on okay, this got, this got weird this got a little weird.

7:25 So Neil Armstrong actually had a love of flying at the age of two. Starting at the age of two, what, yeah, his father took him to the Cleveland Air Races, okay. And then, when he was five or six, he experienced his first airplane flight in Warren Ohio. Okay, he experienced his first airplane flight in Warren. Ohio, okay, and when he and his father took a ride in the Ford Ford tri-motor. So that was the flight, the plane that they wrote him. Okay. The Ford tri-motor Gotcha. They were also known as the 10 goose, but they held between like 12 to 18 to 25 passengers, depending on the type of class, so it was kind of on the smaller side.

8:08 Yes, it was very small. So that was his first love of flying Sure. So I'm going to kind of tell you a little bit about how Neil Armstrong, buzz and Michael all became astronauts, okay, and then we're going to go into what kind of training they would have had to go through Sure, and then what it would look like today. Okay, okay, awesome, okay. So in 1944, while Armstrong was still in school, he actually started taking flying lessons, wow, and he got his student pilot's license at 16, before he even got his driver's license. That's crazy yeah, wow so he went on to purdue university.

8:54 Oh, okay on a naval scholarship, sure, and he studied, studied, aeronautical engineering, nice, okay. So as part of this particular scholarship, applicants committed to two years of study, followed by two years of flight training okay, and one year of service as an aviator in the us navy. I was going to ask if that was something they had to do okay and then completion of the final two years of their bachelor's degree. Oh wow okay, so like they would have to go through all that and then go back together, which I guess makes sense, because you need to learn your shit, yeah, so okay so he got like on hand experience not just in the classroom?

9:36 No, which is awesome, because, especially if when you're piloting something or whatever, I mean you need some actual experience, not just reading it in a book right. So so the navy called him up to be trained as a fighter pilot in florida nice and his college studies were kind of interrupted by the korean war. Oh sure, okay. So during the war, asked um, armstrong flew 78 combat combat missions, oh really, with a total of 121 hours in the air. During the war. Mm-hmm, I didn't know that he even I mean it makes sense Went into the war. Yeah, I never even heard that about them. Wow, okay.

10:16 So his aircraft, the F9F Panther Jet, was one of the first jet fighters to launch from a carrier. Oh really, mm-hmm, That'd be freaky. Yeah. Like I hope this really takes off, or else I'm going into the water Nosedive, literally. Yeah, that would be bad, Literally Wow. After his service in the Navy he then went back to Purdue. Yep, because he had to. Finished his college degree, yep and Armstrong went to work for the National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics, naca. Oh, which is now. Nasa, yeah, nasa, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, yeah, and that was in 1958.

10:58 Okay. So he worked as a test pilot for seven years oh wow, mm-hmm. And he flew over 200 different types of aircraft. Holy crap, I didn't even know there was that many I mean I guess there's a lot of variation, so I mean I wouldn't have guessed that number. No, that's, that's a lot of different aircrafts, holy crap I mean, this 10 goose has the pilot on the right side, but this 10 goose has the pilot on the right side, but this 10 goose has the pilot on the left side. Does that mean he flew two different types of 10 goose, or was it just one? See, that's a great question. I wonder, Because if it's the same makeup, it's just the inner workings are a little different.

11:39 Is it different? Yeah, is it different? What is actually 200 different aircraft? That is the question, folks. Yeah, let's not find out right now. In 1962, he was chosen for NASA's astronaut training program. Okay. So, fun fact, he submitted his application for the astronaut program a week after the deadline Oops. Application for the astronaut program a week after the deadline oops. But a fight simulator who worked closely with armstrong before, saw it and put it in the pile before anyone could notice that it was actually late oh, so he almost got kind of whoops, sorry, dude, uh-huh, that's, that's awesome yeah, yeah that's nice of that guy.

12:21 So that's how he became. Into the program. Yeah, that's how he got into the program. Okay, wow, so Buzz Aldrin. He chose the US Military Academy at West Point Sure, when he majored in mechanical engineering and trained to become a fighter pilot. Okay. Okay, after graduating third in his class at west point, buzz joined the air force and shipped off to korea. Oh, wow, okay so he was out there too, he was. He flew 66 combat missions, good lord, and he was in a f-86 saber jet with two confirmed kills oh, wow, yes, so again, I also didn't know he did that.

13:06 And how many combat missions did neil? like 70 something you said yeah, he did 78 combat missions and buzz did 62, 66 wow so 144 all together, that's a lot, holy crap. And then, after the war, aldrin remained in the Air Force as a pilot instructor in Nevada and then as a flight commander in Germany. Oh, wow, okay yeah. So Aldrin heard about the astronaut training program and his first application was actually rejected by NASA. Oh really. As they were only accepting test pilots and not combat pilots. Oh, okay, and so that's where neil kind of had a an upper hand?

13:47 Yeah, because he well, he test piloted over 200 freaking planes. Yeah, all right so um a mechanical engineer by training, he was closely following the progress towards manned space flight, sure, and knew the challenges. And one of the biggest unknowns was how to dock or connect two orbiting spacecraft racing thousands of miles per hour through space. Right so that? So that's exactly what aldrin actually decided to figure out sure that's smart yeah. So in 1963 aldrin graduated from the massachusetts institute of technology, yep. He had a PhD, jesus, in aeronautics.

14:27 I really feel insignificant in this world right now. His doctoral thesis was titled Line of Sight Guidance Techniques for Manned Orbital Rendezvous. Isn't it kind of funny that it was a doctoral, because they were docking Boom boom. Sorry, that was weak, I apologize on that one. It wasn't terrible, it wasn't great. But it contained a blueprint for piloting and docking the orbital spacecraft. It was essentially what NASA was still trying to figure out. Oh, that's impressive, yeah. So the dedication of his thesis was quote In the hopes that this work may in some way contribute to their exploration of space, this is dedicated to the crew members of this country's present and future manned space programs.

15:12 If only I could join them in their exciting endeavors. End quote. Wow, well done. Yeah, so Aldrin initially applied to join the Astronaut when NASA's astronaut group two was selected in 1962. Okay. And he was rejected at that point. Sure, a year later, in 1963, nasa announced another round of selections. Oh, and this time the requirement was either a test pilot experience or a thousand hours of flying time in a jet aircraft and he. He would have had that with all of his he had over 2,500 hours of flying time, and 2,200 of those were in jets.

15:57 Jesus, yeah that's a lot yeah, so he was one of 14 to be accepted. That's awesome. Yeah, that same year, nasa accepted aldrin into its third class as the only astronaut with a phd buzz earned a second nickname, dr rendezvous sounds like a villain he does either a comic book or something like that. That's kind of dr rendezvous. That's awesome. I never heard that nickname for him. That's funny. So Michael Collins yes, the forgotten one. He took his first plane ride in Puerto Rico. Oh. Aboard a Grumman Wigeon.

16:38 A what now? Grumman G-R-U-M-M-A-N. Grumman Wigeon Like pigeon, but Widgeon, All right. The pilot allowed him to fly for a portion of the flight. What? How old was he? Can you say? No, he was probably in his tweens. Okay, yeah, wow, hey, you want to take the stick for a little bit? Uh-huh, I think he was more like I don't know 14 somewhere in there, sure? So, uh, collins applied and was accepted to west point military academy in new york during world war ii. Okay, in 1952, collins graduated with a bachelor's of science in military science okay he joined the Air Force that same year and completed flight training in Columbus, Mississippi.

17:29 Wow. His performance earned him a position on the advanced day fighter training team at Nellis Air Force Base, and that's basically a fighter plane that can only fly during the day. Oh really yeah. Okay, I didn't look into why. Okay, that's all right. Just putting that out there. Just want to let you know. That's all it is. I did look up what it meant to be a day fighter and coincidentally you can only fight during the day. So as a day fighter you can 9 to 5 job. Yeah, basically Jeez. All right. So all right. So this was followed by an assignment to the 21st fighter bomber wing at the george air force base, where he learned how to deliver nuclear weapons.

18:13 Oh geez. He also served as an experimental flight test officer at edwards air force base in california, testing jet fighters. Oh, there you go. Collins made the decision to become an astronaut after watching John Glenn's Mercury Atlas 6 flight. Oh cool, yeah. So he applied for the second group of astronauts that same year, but was not accepted. Okay, and so Collins entered the USAF Aerospace Research Pilot School. As the Air Force began to like research space. Okay. That year, nasa once again called for astronaut applications, and collins was more prepared. Sure, and in 1963, same same as uh buzz.

18:54 Yeah, I was gonna ask if that was the same class okay he was chosen by nasa to be a part of the third group of astronauts so he was buzz and him were two of the 14 okay by this time, collins had flown over 3 000 hours, and 27 of those were in jet aircrafts. Jesus christ, that's a lot you okay there? yeah, so you're accepted now yeah, so they're in the program so now what? What's train you? there are five objectives, oh dear okay basic training, yeah. Advanced training okay. Mission specific training sure. On board training okay and proficiency maintenance training I mean, that makes sense you are going to hear the word training a lot.

19:36 Do not do a drinking game. Do not do a drinking game. Okay, okay. Okay, you will probably die. We don't want that. Yeah, we don't need Al to get alcohol poisoning. No, but Al put it down. So in basic training they learn medicine. Okay, language Robotics oh, I have a typo. It says isleting, but I think it's meant piloting, robotic piloting robotic piloting, oh dear okay space system engineering okay. The organization of space systems okay. Like did mercury come before venus or after venus?

20:17 no, it's probably more in depth than that. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is and then aerospace engineering okay in advanced training and mission-specific training. They learn about the operation of specific systems and skills required with their assigned positions in a space mission. Okay Okay, the mission-specific training and onboard training is usually around 18 months for the space shuttle and the International Space Station crews. Okay Okay, proficiency maintenance trainings helps the crew members maintain a level of performance and extravehicular activity, which is also called spacewalking.

20:59 Spacewalking Okay. Robotics, language diving and flight training. Oh okay, sure, Okay, robotics language diving and flight training? Oh, okay, sure, Okay. So what other kind of trainings? I mean, there's physical trainings, right? Sure? So astronauts undergo intense physical training, including running, swimming, weightlifting. They need to maintain like a peak physical condition. I would imagine, because you got to be prepared for being out there. Yes, yeah um. They train in centrifuges to withstand the high g forces experienced during launch, and re-entry makes sense. And then they have extensive water survival training, um and including practicing escaping from aircraft in water and surviving in harsh conditions.

21:47 Is that because that's where they usually land? In the space modules and all that Yep Okay. So then you've got technical training. Sure, Astronauts learn about the intricate details of the spacecraft they would be flying, including propulsion Propulsion. That's the one Systems life support systems, systems and navigation systems. Yeah, I mean I, they, I would imagine, have to know all that, because it's just going to be them out there and if something goes wrong, they have to figure it out. They're the ones you can't call a plumber I mean you, they had communication with you. Know, houston, we have a problem, all that, but uh, yeah, they're the ones doing the work. So, yeah, that totally makes sense.

22:28 They are the plumber, they're the electrician, it's like. Buzz get the plunger. So they were trained in mission planning, emergency procedures and in-flight problem solving. All right, and they used advanced simulators to practice flying their spacecraft, docking maneuvers and lunar landing procedures. Okay, okay, so they use a little bit of virtual reality. Oh, yeah, so then they go on to scientific training. Oh dear. They are trained to conduct scientific experiments in space, such as collecting geological samples and studying the Earth's atmosphere Okay, they receive medical training to handle emergencies and monitor their own health during spaceflight Sure, and they undergo psychological training to manage stress and anxiety, especially during critical mission phases.

23:21 Okay, they train in effective communication and teamwork, essential for mission success. And they are trained in survival techniques for various scenarios, including desert, jungle and water survival oh really, in case they run into any of those out in space, yep that's right. And there we don't know if there's a jungle out there. I mean, we don't know if there's a jungle out there. I mean. We don't know what the other side of the moon looks like. It's dark, and then some astronauts, particularly those in international missions, also receive language training. Okay, okay, so today, yeah. You must be a US citizen.

24:02 Oh really Mm-hmm. Okay, you have to have a master's degree in a STEM field. Do you know what STEM means? No, it is basically science, technology, engineering or mathematics. That's what that means. Okay, sure, that makes sense. And I've never heard of STEM until my niece and nephew were kind of in the middle school, high school age, sure, and they were talking about like stem experiments and stuff. I was like I have no idea what that means and that's all it means, yeah I guess okay so they could have a master's degree in engineering, biological science, physical science, computer science or mathematics from an accredited institution.

24:48 Okay. They have to have a minimum of three years of related personal nope professional experience obtained after degree completion, or a thousand hours of pilot in command. Okay. Hours, with at least 850 of those hours in high-performance jet aircraft for pilots. Wow. So basically from what I can understand, if you want to be an astronaut, you have to basically go into the military these days because most likely that's how you're going to get all your your experience in the flying Okay, yeah. So for medical doctors, time in residency can count towards experience and must be completed by June 2025.

25:34 If you want to apply, Just in case, just so you know. And you have to be able to successfully complete the NASA long-duration flight astronaut physical. Okay, I would imagine that's probably pretty intense. Yes, yes, the master's degree requirement can also be met by two years of work towards a doctoral program in a related science, technology, engineering or math field. Okay. Completed doctor of medicine, osteopathic medicine or related medical degree. Completion of a nationally recognized test pilot school program.

26:18 Okay. Astronaut candidates must also have skills in leadership, teamwork and communication Sure and that and communication Sure, and that's it, oh. And nothing else. That's all you need to know All right, all right, jeez, that was great. So NASA's Astronaut Selection Board reviews the applications and assesses each candidate's qualifications. Sure. The board then invites a small group of the most highly qualified candidates for interviews at NASA's Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas. Of those interviewed, about half are invited back for second interviews and then from that group nasa's new astronaut candidates are selected oh, okay they report for training at johnson and spend the next two years learning basic astronaut skills like spacewalking, operating the space station, flying t-38 jet planes and controlling robotic arms.

27:21 Wow, two years. There is no age restriction in the program, oh really I was gonna ask that okay but astronaut candidates selected in the past have ranged between 26 and 46, sure, and the average age is being about 34 makes sense yeah, so flying experience is not necessarily a requirement okay um. The program requires either three years of professional-related experience or 1,000 hours of pilot. Yeah, that's right, you did say it Okay. Yes, gotcha. So, a minimum of 850 hours must be in high-performance jet aircraft. If you choose the 1,000 hours, yeah, the remaining hours may be accumulated in aircraft other than high-performance jet aircraft.

28:06 So jet aircraft experience is usually obtained through the military. Yep, like we said. Yeah, any type of flying experience, military or private, is allowed. Okay, so just find a plane and just take off. Yeah, see what happens. We do not endorse that, by the way. No, we don't. It's just stealing a plane and just take off. Yeah, see what happens. We do not endorse that, by the way. No, we don't. It's just stealing a plane. For maximum crew safety, each crew member must be free of medical conditions that would either impair the person's ability to participate in, or be aggravated by, spaceflight, as determined by NASA physicians. Okay, okay, okay. So, as of December 2007, the refractive surgical procedures of the eye, like LASIK, are now allowed.

28:55 They are Because, yeah, didn't you always have to have perfect vision, basically. And you have to have at least one year have passed since the LASIK surgery Sure With no permanent adverse side effects. So like after you get it done you have to wait a whole year Makes sense. So for those applications under final consideration, an operative report on the surgical procedure is requested. Would you ever get LASIK? 100%, yeah, I think my sister-in-law got LASIK, oh really, and then her eyesight still changed for like um, up close so she's got like readers, I think okay, so not completely effective, but a lot better.

29:35 Yeah, I'm not really sure how that works? Yeah, me either. Yeah, I'm. I've never looked into getting it, I just wear my glasses. Yeah I just wear my glasses. Yeah, I just wear my contacts. Yep Pretty much so. their salary is approximately $152,000 a year. Wow. Okay, this pay rate reflects the 2004 pay schedules and our own approximation Sure Astronauts are considered public service employees. Okay. No matter what nationality. Sure, in America, many astronauts are soldiers, public service employees, no matter what nationality. Sure, in America, many astronauts are soldiers, yep, and they also get soldier pay. Okay, same with Russian. But in Europe they have no taxes and already get paid a higher salary.

30:16 Oh wow, mm-hmm. Go Europe. More than 8,000 people applied to be an astronaut when NASA last accepted applications this year. Oh, really. I believe their end date was April. Okay. Only 17% of applicants were women. Oh wow, that's quite low. From that pool, NASA will select between 8 and 12 people to become astronaut candidates. So 8 to 12 out of 8,000? Yes, wow astronaut candidates. So eight to 12 out of 8,000. Yes, wow. And then these candidates will go on to complete two years of training before the candidates are even eligible for a space flight Gotcha. These candidates will train for years. Yeah, no doubt. Like sometimes up into the teens.

30:59 Oh really, yes, that long Jesus, because there's never any guarantee of actual flights into space. Well, right, yeah, because it all depends on what they're doing. Exactly so. Some people, they're just training. Yeah, just constantly training waiting for their moment. Yeah exactly, Isn't that crazy. Yeah, because, like you said well, it's my 12th year of training. Yeah, maybe this is the year Then my 12th year of training. Yeah. Maybe this is the year. Then there are more astronauts than there are flights offered. Correct, yeah, and I would imagine you have to qualify for those specific flights, even from the pool of astronauts right, perhaps, oh, perhaps, okay. But they all get the mission-specific training, true, yeah, that's a good point.

31:40 Yeah, yep, so the current available space hold on hold please this is what I read. The current available space in space is on the international space station. It's a lot of space that is only a crew of six on the iss yes, really yes, okay, and you stay there for approximately six months, wow, before another team is like set up to relief you for sure, yeah. So one particular astronaut said um, he was one applicant of 8500 okay and a thousand of them were chosen to come to Germany.

32:22 I think he's Belgian Gotcha. They spent one day of doing lots of very long computer-based tests. Okay, Math, physics, mechanics, English, spatial awareness and psychological testing. Yeah. Stage two was more about teamwork and communication skills. Yeah, they were interviewed by psychologists to see if you had the right character. Okay. The term interrogation was mentioned in the video I watched by this guy yeah. Oh dear. It has also been said that the tests are so hard that you feel like you never actually get to the end. Right, right, right. So once in space, on the International space station, there are four laboratories.

33:08 Um, so you have to be a scientist as well, sure, as an engineer for maintenance and repairs. You literally have to do everything yeah, no, it sounds like it because again small crew. Yeah, you're up there you have to learn each station's components inside and out, sure um? They also go through the rickers, emergency plans training, survival training, and they even go through like simulated death on the iss oh wow, yeah, I mean what happens if somebody dies up there? Yeah, you have to take care of it, yeah, so they also work inside the station in spacesuits, sure, and they work outside the station in spacesuits by working in pools okay which simulate weightlessness gotcha.

33:50 So here they. They experience what it would be like to spacewalk by doing like the diving training, sure, which means they also have to have their diver's certificate oh, I suppose. Yeah, yes, I didn't even think of that. You always see, like in movies or there, if there's anything about astronauts, where they're in the giant pool in their suits. So yeah, they have to have their, their diving certificates too that's funny their resume is impressive well, yeah, I mean it goes on for a while do you think howard wallowitz had all of that in big bang theory? You know it's. I was just thinking about Howard Wolowitz too in that little stretch of episodes. But I'm going to go with no Hard no.

34:32 They probably didn't do the research, nope, so they also explored caves to help strengthen teamwork. Really Mm-hmm. That seems kind of a random one, but okay. So then you need a pilot's license as well. Of course, you'd fly something like a Cessna, and then perhaps later a Boeing 737. Okay, and then they also had to learn a degree of Russian really it's the second official language on board the ISS well, yeah, I guess that makes sense Okay. Some astronauts from certain areas of the world end up studying up to like four languages to become an astronaut. That's crazy. So the Belgian astronaut that I mentioned earlier yeah, he was one of 8,500.

35:18 He was born speaking Flemish, which is a Dutch language. Yeah, and then to become an officer in the military, he had to learn French. Sure. To become a pilot, he needed to learn English, okay. And to become an astronaut, he had to learn Russian, that's crazy. So you can speak four languages. Yeah, that's impressive. I can barely speak one. Yeah. Same. I know To many of these candidates, learning Russian was actually their hardest feat. Okay, wow. You just say vodka a lot. Vodka Exactly. Would you like some more vodka Da? Das ist gut. Ja, that's German.

36:01 I know, that's why I did it. Das ist gut. Ja, Das ist gut. Ja, that's German I know, that's why I did it. Das ist gut, ja. Das ist gut ja. So there is a week of medical tests and the video quoted and the video will be in our show notes, but it's quoted. Available and unavailable orifices are checked. Oh, dear, I'm sorry. What yeah, say that again. Available and unavailable. What does that mean? I want to know what the unavailable ones are. What does that mean I? have no idea. An orifice is literally a hole. Why is there an unavailable hole? Well, they're going to find them. That's a clogged hole. And they're going to check them out. Wow, I don't want to go through that. That's crazy.

36:41 Unavailable orifices. I think that's just the title of this episode. Don't you. They're literally like taken apart and put back together. Wow, they have to go through like a medical background check on the family Tumors, illnesses, disorders and psychological disorders. Wow, my depression will not get me in. I guess I'll withdraw my application. So when you return to Earth, you have to undergo much of the same testing? I would imagine yeah. So when you have been assigned a flight, you train for that specific mission, which can take place all over the world.

37:23 And this could be approximately like 18 to three years long, and sometimes more 18 to years, 18 months to 3 years. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, in russia, if they land in siberia or in the desert yeah um, they have to be able to survive in case they aren't found right away well, yeah, that would make sense, yeah, that would suck they literally must be prepared for anything, and that reminds me I think it was Michael Collins, but I'm not sure Two out of the three astronauts for Apollo 11 were Boy Scouts. Oh nice. Yes, I was a Boy Scout. Yeah, be prepared. Yes, exactly. So there is a final two-day exam on the systems of the spaceship and then, a month before takeoff, the astronauts receive a five-page document to be filled out.

38:07 In the event of your death oh sure, how do you want to be buried? What about your family, etc all that. Yeah, so it's basically like their will. Yep, for the most part then they have another final medical examination. They're just like are you still fit, are you still good? How are you good from yesterday to today? is there any other? Uh, unexplored, or what was the word again? Unavailable orifices that we forgot about oh my god, I don't get it that's so great. So once back on earth, they require several weeks of rehabilitation as their muscles grow weak, sure, um, even with exercise regularly on the iss? Yeah, and this is all done before you are accepted to perform any additional tasks in nasa.

38:54 Yeah, okay, like once you're back, you've got rehabilitation and that's it. Sure, I mean that makes sense. After their first or second mission, many American astronauts leave NASA, as they usually get pretty great offers from the aerospace industry. Sure. Makes sense. In Europe. Once you're in the program, you don't leave, you just get assigned to another role. Oh, really Okay. So you could be assigned to various committees designing aircraft, doing recommendations, things like that. Okay. So NASA opens applications for its astronaut program approximately every four years. Oh really. So it's like the Olympics.

39:34 Yeah, so currently today there are 48 active NASA astronauts. Wow, that's it. Huh, yeah, that's crazy, 360 total since 1959. I would have figured the number would be a lot larger. But I mean, with what you say they accept. I guess that makes sense. That number seems awfully low, but at the same time it makes total sense. Wow, only 360,. You said yeah, wow that's. Wow, only 360. You said yeah, wow, that's crazy, so out of the 360 yeah 299 were men, okay, 61 women, sure. Out of the 360, 2 191 were pilots.

40:15 Sure 159 were non-pilots. Yeah, as of August 2023, fewer than 700 people have made it into space. That's crazy, and that's like international. Yeah, right, right. I mean, it's not something we normally go up to so Exactly. So that is how you become an astronaut. That sounds. Was that the video? Yeah, I was going to give you the title of the video. It's literally called how to Become an Astronaut. Okay.

41:06 It's a Welt Documentary Documentary. Did I go Britishish for a second? I think so, um, and then I got a lot of my information from the actual nasa website. Oh cool, but isn't that a lot? that is so much I mean you can understand why so many people don't do it. Because you have to be obviously or don't get accepted or don't get accepted, for that matter too, but you have to be obviously very dedicated, very smart. I actually know somebody who works for NASA. Yeah. Yeah, he's incredibly smart. I think he's still I'm assuming he still does, but he lives in Houston, of course, and whatnot. But super smart kid Like he's younger than me, but he was my brother who's a year older than me, his friend because he skipped the grade naturally. Yeah, cause he's just brilliant and a super nice guy.

41:47 Um, but uh, yeah. So I don't know exactly what he's not an astronaut, but I don't know what he does for NASA. But yeah, he's been there for quite some time, if I'm not mistaken. But uh, yeah, I I could not go through all that. I mean, my crappy knees in my classes would probably keep me out of most things anyways, they would just look at you and be like sorry. Dude, you just want to turn around. I mean, let's all just stop wasting our time here, you saw where you came in, right yeah you know that door, use it again. No, that's wild. I never realized there was that few through. Yeah, I didn't either since 1950.

42:28 What nine, nine? Okay, I never realized that number was so low. That's pretty wild, yeah. so so I'm thinking, yes, we get sarah, okay, and we watch Jim Lovell. Yeah, yes, yeah, let's do that. Yeah, we can do that. Okay, good, um, so it was a little bit different story today, but I think it's pretty, pretty cool. No, I like it Cause I mean, I I never knew any of that information and, um, it's, it's just amazing that, like I said, the dedication and all the things you have to go through just to become that, yeah, I mean and then you aren't even guaranteed to get into space.

43:10 Exactly, and that's what I was just going to say. It's like you do all of this and then it's like all right, just keep training, maybe your day will come. And it's like will it? I don't know. It's like oh, I aged out, I got an illness. Yeah, or something whatever. I got arthritis. Yeah, but I mean, obviously they make a pretty decent salary while they're even training. So I mean that's obviously good for them, but no, that's wild. I never knew that. But it's like you have to go in with that expectation of you're not going to space. Yeah. You to go in with that expectation of you're not going to space. Yeah, you're just hoping to. Yeah, this doesn't guarantee you a mission to space? no at all, isn't that crazy. You could be one of them we don't, we don't know yet maybe we'll decide when the time comes.

43:53 Yeah, yeah no, that's crazy yeah, that was definitely a a different little story than we, uh, normally do, but I liked it. That was very cool. So do you have an idiom for me? I do. Let's hear it All right, all right. So for this idiom I picked one that's kind of relevant to the time of year we're in, because a lot of people do this for gifts, but it's called white elephant, which is the idiom. White elephant refers to something that is difficult to get rid of and is more expensive to maintain than it is useful, which I think it's kind of morphed out of that for the most part. So what would?

44:33 hi Bonnie Uh. For example, you might describe an old cottage that is too run down to sell but still costly to maintain as a white elephant. The term comes from an old thai custom where the king would give rare, expensive to care for white elephants to people he was displeased with. The king would wait for the owner to be ruined by the high cost of feeding the animal, which could not be slaughtered. The story was told in england in the 1600s and the term began to be used figuratively in the 1800s that's crazy how that stuff lasts so long yeah, so a king was basically a dick and said, uh, bonnie, you need to not do that.

45:19 Uh, so he's basically just being a dick to put a person in financial ruin because he was displeased with them so it's a quite a creative way to do it. Don't get on his bad side. Yeah, apparently I never seen a white elephant, but apparently they have. I don't know, was it albino? I don't know, that's what I would assume, but those are also very rare and obviously now a white elephant gift. Is what? Mainly, mainly just a random thing? Is that more or less what it is? So I think there's still some connotation of like this is a gag gift. Yeah right. But like when I do stuff like that at work, we call it white elephant, but it's just more of a Christmas exchange. Yeah, that's kind of what I think it's morphed into more or less these days, but it started off with the king being a dick, so there you go.

46:06 And who was he king of? He was a Thai custom, so he was a king in Thailand. I guess I didn't know they had kings there, but I guess I don't know much about Thailand. But yeah, so there you go. White elephant, don't get one, they're expensive. They're expensive to maintain and you can't slaughter them. I don't know why you'd want to slaughter an elephant. Anyways, I don't think so, majestic creatures that they are, they are. So, anyways, there you go. Well, thank you. Yeah, no problem. What did you think about your Mountain Dew? I mean, it's a staple in my life. It is a staple a lot of people drink coffee in the morning.

46:47 I have a mountain dew because I'm not. I just don't drink coffee and I don't like warm beverages. Yeah, but uh gets my caffeine fix in the morning, yeah, so I have been craving sprite for like a solid couple weeks, so the bubbles are just excellent on a throat that's still healing from having a cold. Yeah, no doubt. So yeah, well. I suppose All right, buffoons, that's it for today's episode. Buckle up, because we've got another historical adventure waiting for you. Next time Feeling hungry for more buffoonery, or maybe you have a burning question or a wild historical theory for us to explore. Hit us up on social media. We're History Buffoons Podcast on Reddit, x, instagram and Facebook.

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